XIII: Semifinal Results

In year thirteen, the Larkspur Bowl will see a ninth team hoist the vaunted Silver Chalice:
Either the top seeded Manitoba Moosecrew or the surging #2 seed the Van Halens of Deputy.

There will be a LBXIII Preview prior to kickoff, but lets take a quick look at our semifinal matchups, in which both of the home teams trounced their competitor with minimal resistance. 

DEPUTY LOCKS UP COWS, ADVANCE TO BOWL GAME

The Van Halens were more competent than overpowering in this one, but with Tom Brady unable to ignite a flaccid South Park offense, it was more than enough. Deputy's offense had some unlikely contributions: Donta Foreman and Craig Reynolds were not the plan, but here we are! Likewise, Gabriel Davis being the OPOY was unexpected, but well deserved. The Van Halen defense did not do much in this one, nor did they need to- Jordyn Brooks played janitor and cleaned up on the backend. The South Park defense, led by Darius Leonard, menaced at a playoff caliber, but Keenan Allen and Darnell Mooney were the only offensive players worth mentioning in the dispiriting defeat.

• OFFENSIVE PLAYER OF THE GAME: WR GABRIEL DAVIS (DVH) 24.2
• DEFENSIVE PLAYER OF THE GAME: LB DARIUS LEONARD (SPC) 27.85

MOOSECREW END TOMMY BOY'S STREAK, UNTO FINALS

Manitoba avenges their week 12 loss to the Tommy Boys, who see their eight week win streak end ingloriously in the semifinal. Manitoba's offense got major plays from Cooper Kupp and Tyreek Hill, while a linebacking corps headed by Lavonte David took care of business on the midway and Minkah Fitzpatrick locked down the backend. Tyler Boyd supplied the only highlight for Ohio, who will battle South Park for the bronze medal next week while the Moose arrive at the end goal.

• OFFENSIVE PLAYER OF THE GAME: WR COOPER KUPP (MMC) 34.8
• DEFENSIVE PLAYER OF THE GAME: LB LAVONTE DAVID (MMC) 28.5

We have a host of teams to eulogize in the near future as well:

• 5TH PLACE: PHILADELPHIA RUM HAM (9-4)
• 6TH PLACE: MAR-A-LAGO TREASON (9-4)
• 11TH PLACE: NEW JERSEY SANITATION CREW (4-9)
• 12TH PLACE: PHOENIX UPRISING (6-7)