2018: Philadelphia Rum Ham

For the sixth year in a row, South Philly (nee Saskatoon, nee Atlanta) is a loser. For a three year stretch (2010-2012) the franchise was a fixture in the playoffs, but they've been out of the money ever since. In 2018 their schedule was their biggest foe, as they saw the toughest slate in the league; far too much firepower for their #11 power ranking to overcome. They only scored over 190 points six times on the season, and were only able to split those matchups- most notably putting up a whopping 263 in a week four loss to the Deputy squad that breached 300. Teams that score 245+ are 34-1 in Larkspur Bowl history... and that was the one.

Matt Ryan, Alvin Kamara, and JJ Watt were a decent core, but under performance from Jimmy Graham, Allen Robinson, Robby Anderson, and Pierre Garcon put this team behind the eight ball; The latter three were jettisoned, but not really replaced on the roster. The team's tough start contributed to an over aggressive penchant for trading. After a great deal with New Yorkin late September, (netting premier pieces Tarik Cohen and OJ Howard) the deals became increasingly desperate, ultimately depleting the team of offensive depth. By the end of the season the receiver cupboard was nearly bare, causing the team to lose five in a row and bury itself in the cellar.

PHILADELPHIA RUM HAM

RECORD: 3-10 (14th)

2,497.24 PF (11th)

2,866.82 PA (1st)

Transactions: 48

Trades: 6

2019 Draft Pick Selection: 8th

TRADES:

• 9/25 Acquired TE OJ Howard, WR Tyler Boyd, and RB Tarik Cohen from NYF for WR Dede Westbrook, RB Gio Bernard, and RB Jordan Howard

This deal was an early masterstroke, as Cohen supplanted Howard in the RB hierarchy, and Tyler Boyd was an upgrade over Westbrook and ended up the only viable target on the squad, while OJ Howard was an elite TE when healthy and would be dealt from an excess. 

• 9/26 Acquired LB Vontaze Burfict from PHX for WR Robby Anderson and WR Pierre Garcon

Burfict was about to return from suspension, and the allure of a top notch LB1 was high for a 1-2 team off a big win. Moving two receivers that had fallen down their depth chart was easy enough. Unfortunately Burfict only managed three mediocre games before getting injured. Both Anderson and Garcon would be dealt again (and again) but never delivered much.

• 10/18 Acquired LB Eric Kendricks from BIN for DE Jason Pierre-Paul

Motivated again coming off their second win, the Rum Ham turned a solid investment in JPP into a starting linebacker. Pierre-Paul was redundant behind the superior JJ Watt, while Kendricks finished the season as the #30 LB in league- no world beater, but a solid cog.

• 10/25 Acquired WR Danny Amendola from ORG for RB Adrian Peterson

A desperation move made just before kickoff, parting with Peterson wasn't a problem- he was third on the totem pole. But Amendola was a bit of an underwhelming get, and though he ultimately delivered three acceptable weeks at the flex, (including two double digit performances) he was a short term solution, meek return for a long term asset like a RB2.

• 11/1 Acquired S Jamal Adams and WR Tajae Sharpe from HVM for TE OJ Howard and WR Tayler Gabriel

Announcing a need for defense, the team added a top flight safety while swapping bottom of the barrel flex options. The deal looks better for the Rum Ham because OJ Howard's season ended three weeks later. Sharpe was okay as depth, not as an every week player.

• 11/1 Acquired CB Denzel Ward and WR Dez Bryant from PHX for WR Allen Robinson and S Mike Adams

This deal was a roller coaster, as Dez Bryant would sign five days later then rupture his achilles two days after that. If he stays healthy perhaps the last month in the City of Brotherly Love goes differently. As it is, QBs started to avoid rookie Ward (when he was healthy) minimizing his impact, while Allen Robinson put together a huge day in his Phoenix debut.

KEY TRANSACTIONS:

• 9/12 Adding Dede Westbrook and subsequently trading him
• 9/20 Dropped Courtland Sutton, who would have been decent receiver depth
• 10/3 Adding Tre Boston, who briefly looked like an elite DB
• 10/4 Adding Jason Pierre-Paul and subsequently trading him
• 10/10 Adding David Moore during his midseason touchdown binge
• 10/25 Adding Adam Humphries, the team's #2 receiver
• 10/26 Adding Austin Hooper, a reasonable flex option and TE depth

KEY INJURIES:

• 9/26 Lost Ricardo Allen, replaced him with Earl Thomas...
• 10/3 Lost Earl Thomas just as he was regaining Pro Bowl form
• 11/9 Lost Dez Bryant just after looking like a genius for acquiring him

OUTPUT BY WEEK:

1. 172 (12th) loss to MAL (249)
2. 154 (13th) loss to BIN (230)
3. 219 (5th) win over NYF (198)
4. 263 (2nd) loss to DVH (305)
5. 163 (13th) loss to BKB (206)
6. 256 (1st) win over HVM (219)
7. 155 (12th) loss to PAW (239)
8. 194 (9th) win over HCM (169)
9. 194 (8th) loss to SAV (204)
10. 165 (11th) loss to ORG (220)
11. 167 (13th) loss to SPC (209)
12. 184 (11th) loss to MMC (200)
13. 208 (6th) loss to PHX (219)

WHAT IF: 

If the Rum Ham had been more diligent about the receiver position, the rest of their roster actually ended up looking pretty good; The 11th place finish in points was not competitive, but it deserved more than three wins- bad luck in sequencing can make or break a season on the fringe. After getting three playable TEs, moving one should have resulted in a receiver that would address their achilles heel better than Tajae Sharpe.

THE FUTURE:
Expect the team to invest in some bankable wideouts to pair with inevitable quarterback Matt Ryan, and then load up on surer depth targets after a season of bum lottery tickets burned them. The ceiling was high this year, but the floor was low and the Rum Ham ended up grounded. If they don't learn a lesson from this season, they'll be doomed to another lost year in 2019.