The Walking Dead (VIII: PART ONE)

We have ten games remaining in the regular season; Tonight begins week four, and the end of 2016's first month. Lets take a look at players selected in the first nine rounds of the draft that have been expected to contribute big things for their teams, but have been unable to, due to injury or suspension.

ROUND ONE:

• TE Rob Gronkowski (SAV) - The Gronk missed weeks one and two, then was limited to only 11 snaps and no catches on one target in week three. The Petes have received zero points from the TE position so far this season, which feels like it should almost be impossible.
• RB Adrian Peterson (OAK) - The Drivers took a third swing at Peterson, after owning him during his snapped ACL season, and his suspension season. Well, strike three his meniscus is broken and he absolutely hates being on Oakwood. 
• DE JJ Watt (PHX) - Watt's 2012 and 2014 were first round caliber seasons. His 2013 and 2015 were probably still worth a third round pick. He's been a cornerstone of the Uprising the past three seasons, so they made sure to reclaim him- and now his back is broken and he is unlikely to return this year.
• RB Le'Veon Bell (SPC) - South Park knew Bell would miss three games due to suspension and drafted him anyway. The Cows are 1-2 but on the upswing with their top pick ready to contribute going forward.

ROUND TWO:

• RB Jamaal Charles (SPC) - South Park knew when it would get Bell back; Charles has been more mysterious, and perhaps more concerning; Concensus saw him back by week two, but now it is week four and he is still no sure bet to play. The team did acquire Spencer Ware in his stead, the sort of shrewd pickup that should be expected of the defending champ.
• WR Dez Bryant (PHX) - Last year, Phoenix traded for an injured Bryant, and when he finally hit the field again he performed below expectations. FLIP THE SCRIPT! This year, Bryant has performed below expectations, and now going into week four, has suffered a hairline fracture in his leg. 
• WR Keenan Allen (DVH) - Keenan Allen was on a record setting pace last year, drawing targets, catching passes, and accumulating yardage like few before him. It all became derailed midseason when he lacerating his kidney. This year, Keenan Allen tore his ACL in his first game back, Deputy's second year in a row having their second round pick ruin a knee before completing a game.

ROUND THREE:

• WR Sammy Watkins (SAS) - Watkin's surgically repaired foot came apart in short order, as the talented receiver's recurring injury recurred. They are calling it a pain management issue- he could not manage to play in week three, and his week to week status is up in the air. Perhaps more maddening than just losing a guy and having to move on is holding a guy with no guarantee he will help again. 
• RB Doug Martin (DVH) - Muscle Hamster is expected to be out through his week six bye, which is at least somewhat fortuitous, as he can be stashed on the reserve list and then, ostensibly, return for the remainder of the season. As with all injuries, its unclear if he will actually be able to stick to that timeline, or to what capacity he will remain effective.

ROUND FOUR:

• WR Josh Gordon (PHX) - Suspended for the season's first four weeks, Gordon has now voluntarily entered inpatient rehab, leaving his near immediate future very unclear. His personal problems have to be the priority, but for Phoenix, who planned to bide their time and play undermanned for a month, the lack of reinforcements may prove costly. 
• WR Eric Decker (SAV) - Big Deck was on a six game touchdown streak before an injury in week three that has been wrapped in mystery ever since. Its unclear what the severity of his shoulder trouble is, and the lack of a 'probable' tag this year has made injury concerns all the more dire. 
• RB Thomas Rawls (MMC) - Rawls had a great run at the end of 2015, but a leg injury likely had him at less than 100% coming into 2015. After some struggles and a reinjured leg, his timeline is unclear and his job is unsure. 

ROUND FIVE:

• WR Donte Moncrief (SAS) - A fractured scapula early in game two will keep the receiver out 4-6 weeks; good news compared to the season ending break that was feared.
• RB Jonathan Stewart (SAV) - In 2015 Stewart was a reliable bell cow with a high floor, and that is what the Petes drafted him to be: sturdy and safe. A hamstring injury in week two will put him on the shelf for up to a month, with the team's bye week lining up on the backside of that timeline. 
• TE Tyler Eifert (OAK) - Injured in last year's Pro Bowl, Eifert was never expected to be ready for the start of the season; Oakwood drafted him aggressively, and while he is nearing a return, the team is 0-3, in part because of the hole in the roster where a fifth round pick should be. He'll need to come back strong to justify his selection. 
• TE Julius Thomas (NYF) - Julius came to New York as buy low injury opportunity, and made the most of it in the back half of the season. After two good weeks, an elbow injury in week three has put his week four in doubt. Week five is his bye, so as long as the Finest are within a game of .500% in week six, this could turn out alright.
• RB Jeremy Langford (PAW) - I forgot him on this list! His big breakout last year had its share of doubters coming into 2016; H edid nothing to dispel them, and then got hurt. His job might not be waiting for him when he returns to health.

ROUND SIX:

• RB Rashad Jennings (LTP) - A hand injury is threatening to keep Jennings out of the lineup for the second straight week; Good fortune is that Charles Sims projects to be sufficient coverage until Jennings can get healthy again. One injured hand is not a season ender for a RB. 
• TE Delanie Walker (HCM) - Walker's high volume and good health make him a great play at an up and down position. Unfortunately after a big week two, he missed week three with an injury. He's expected back in week four.
• RB Chris Ivory (MMC) - A mysterious illness hospitalized Ivory for the first two weeks of the season, and his week three debut was cut short by an injury. He's a full participant in practice this week, so he'll try to get his season on track in week four.

ROUND SEVEN:

• RB Danny Woodhead (HVM) - Woodhead's versatiliy and bounce took a hit when his kneed was destroyed in week two. 
• TE Zach Ertz (HCM) - The Lead Farmers doubled up at the Tight End position only to have them both go on the shelf. Ertz was hurt in the season opener, but is expected back after the team's week four bye.
• RM Matt Jones (PHX) - Came into the season beaten up, and had to skip the majority of the preaseaon for it. His workload has been lighter than expected, but looks to be trending upward.
• LB DeAndre Levy (SPC) - Drafted in the fifth round in 2015, released after scoring zero points. Drafted in the seventh round in 2016, released after scoring six points. He was great in 2014 but has not been healthy since.

ROUND EIGHT:

• DE Ziggy Ansah (PAW) - Drafted high, he recovered from one injury to get in a game and suffer another. His health uncertain going forward, he was released for the next man up.

ROUND NINE:

• CB Ronald Darby (SAS) - After a breakout season with the Sasquatch last year, he returned to the team in 2016 and had two impressive showings before missing week three with an injury. He is expected to return in week four.
• LB Danny Trevathan (MMC) - The tackle machine broke his thumb week two and is likely to miss between two and six games. His upside keeps him on the roster for now.
• QB Tom Brady (SAV) - Suspended for four games, the Petes knew they would have to weather his absence early. They've gone 0-3 so far but have remained patient. 
• TE Antonio Gates (MDB) - The veteran has slowed down some as well as required some regular maintenance. He missed week three and is likely to miss week four as well.
• LB Lawrence Timmons (LTP) - He got shanked and had to go to the hospital in week three. Indications are that he is fine and will be back in week four, but details are sparse.
• LB Kiko Alonso (PAW) - It's just unclear if he has ever fully recovered from his torn ACL in 2014. Perpetually questionable, he's turned in three solid performances so far this season.
• WR Willie Snead (SPC) - A midseason breakout in 2015 kept him under the radar this season, and the Cows plucked him in the ninth, and then plugged him in for some huge production through two weeks before injuring his toe. He's nearing a return, but his effectiveness may be hindered going forward. 

Trade 4: Bottom Feeding

The trade market has been pretty chilly this season, with proven wide receivers proving to a precious commodity that teams are holding sacred. New York's block has had three starting caliber backs on it for three weeks without finding a match; Early this morning they jettisoned the veteran Frank Gore to supplement their starting lineup with some fresh blood.

SAVANNAH ACQUIRES:

• RB Frank Gore
• LB Von Miller
• WR Danny Amendola

NEW YORK ACQUIRES:

• WR Victor Cruz
• LB D'Qwell Jackson
• RB Cameron Artis-Payne

First things first, Gore is the best fantasy player in this deal, and should team with Eddie Lacy to give Savannah a quality one-two punch. Even at his advanced age, he's sure to get his touches every Sunday as long as he remains healthy, and would be an every week starter for the majority of teams in this league. However, the Finest roster was imbalanced after moving Dez Bryant for Dev Freeman- optimally, they'd have found a WR2 to exchange, but as is, this is multi-faceted deal that upgrades their over all roster quality.

Victor Cruz has shown that he is a dependable slot weapon, with the rapport to see regular targets week-in and week-out. Fully healthy, his penchant for YAC should elevate his ceiling, although his WR1 days are likely behind him. Almost any team would be profiting on his production in the flex; In New York, he'll be counted on to be a WR3- testament to the weakness of their receiving corps, but a boon nonetheless. D'Qwell Jackson is an elite linebacker (4th overall in 2015, 8th overall in 2016) and while whispers about his age are bound to follow him, he's shown a tendency to reach and breach expectations. Cameron Artis-Payne is on the move again- in New York he'll serve as a backup, with the potential to grow into added value in the next few weeks with increased touches. If he can take advantage of his opportunity, he should be able to solidify a double digit workload in the back half of the season and be a reasonable bye week sub. New York can get back to .500% with a win this week- this trade signals that they mean to do just that.

Von Miller is a step down from D'Qwell Jackson in terms of week to week dependability, but has the big play upside that the 0-3 Petes require: If he can get a sack streak going, he might be the October difference maker the team needs. Earlier in WR Danny Amendola's career he was a dependable volume guy; Now, a lot of his production is game plan specific, so we'll see some big days and some quiet days from the diminutive slot man. Savannah has a much better WR situation than New York, so Amendola is better cast as a bye week filler, where the team hopes his lightning strikes when he is on the field. (Metaphorically speaking.)

If Jordan Howard can grow into an every week back and Jonathan Stewart recovers from injury, the Petes will have a surplus of good running backs that would enable them to make another move down the road to further optimize their lineup as they try to dig themselves out of an early hole.

VIII: Week Three Results

We're down to two undefeated teams and two defeated teams with a week to go in the season's first month. Saskatoon nabs the top spot due to poor management from Toronto, while Manitoba follows up a low scoring win with a dominant performance. At the bottom of the standings are some of the usual suspects: Savannah finished in 12th last year, and Oakwood has finished in the bottom four spots in each of their three seasons. Both teams need wins in the worst way week four.

Week 3 Matchups

• Phoenix Uprising215.87Revis Islanders205.06
  FinalRecap
• Deputy Van Halens193.29Pawnee Pride218.60
  FinalRecap
• OAKWOOD DRIVER191.38New York's Finest203.33
  FinalRecap
• Hill Valley McFlys244.66Malibu Deadbeats177.78
  FinalRecap
• Savannah Petes175.62Manitoba Moosecrew227.40
  FinalRecap
• South Park Cows222.42HoChiMinhLeadFarmers220.56
  FinalRecap
• Saskatoon Sasquatch166.53Les Tres Petites163.27
  FinalRecap

POWER OUTPUT:

1. 244 HVM: Worst to first in a week's time- variance due largely to a lack of stability at Quarterback
2. 227 MMC: 3-0 be what it is, but two wins over woeful ofers means rougher water ahead
3. 222 SPC: The championship hangover is over, Marvin Jones and Christine Michael are here.
4. 220 HCM: Tough loss for a franchise known for its tough losses. Bad time for Brandin Cooks to be quiet.
5. 218 PAW: Statement game reclaims Indiana for the Pride who plan to ride big Mike Evans as far as they can.
6. 215 PHX: Only team in the league to surpass the 200 point threshold all three weeks. (Jinx)
7. 205 ISL: Islanders played to win but were let down by Matt Forte's gameflow lack of opportunities.
8. 203 NYF: A desperation last second win for the Finest, who have three real quality starters at RB.
9. 193 DVH: Six of seven flex options scored five points or less, headlined by Kelvin's disheartening goose egg.
10. 191 OAK: Back to back backbreaking losses put Oakwood in a tough spot early.
11. 177 MDB: Silver lining is that Terrelle Pryor showcased a potentially gamechanging skillset, should start. 
12. 175 SAV: Now at three weeks of zero points from tight ends after picking Gronk in the first round. LOLWUT?
13. 166 SAS: Four of eight offensive starters score below five and they win? Inconceviable but true.
14. 163 LTP: Failure to play Charles Sims over Rashad Jennings an unforgivable transgression and cause of defeat.

Byron Jones smacking the ball out of Alshon Jeffery's hands in the end zone as time expired was the difference between victory and defeat for Phoenix and the Islanders.
It's a fantasy moment I'll never forget.
(I posted this here to remind myself to never forget it.)

TEAM OF THE WEEK:

Trade 3: BOLDin & CAP'n

We're averaging a trade a week, which is off our standard pace. Part of that might be more intelligent drafting, a sharper focus on depth, and perhaps a few too many blockbusters backfiring in recent years. Today we had a smaller move that should prove sensible on each side of the transaction. Neither asset is likely to be a world beater, but each ought to provide a few dependable weeks if utilized properly.

PAWNEE ACQUIRES:

• WR Anquan Boldin

SAVANNAH ACQUIRES:

• RB Cameron Artis-Payne

Pawnee's noted lack of depth at WR has begun to resolve itself- after having perhaps the greatest group of WRs OF ALL TIME in 2015, their cupboard seemed pretty bare in the early going. Now they've traded for two savvy Veterans- first Vincent Jackson, and now Anquan Boldin. Now in his thirteenth season, Boldin should provide a safety net at the position, where the team has also added Andrew Hawkings and Markus Wheaton off the wire. Top options Doug Baldwin and Mike Evans have successive bye weeks coming up, so the team should be able to audition their depth and then pare down mid season.

Cameron Artis-Payne was a savvy add for the Pride, who spun him off after a single practice with the team. As the handcuff to a hobbled Jon Stewart, he gives the Petes some insurance going forward; The team will hope to depend on  JSTEW or CAP with a hot hand approach. Deangelo Williams will likely see his role diminish in coming weeks, while Fat Eddie Lacy goes on bye Week Four. It should be a workable situation, and is definitely improved by this deal.

VIII: Week Two Results

No weekly points records were broken this week, though several team projections flirted with it through Sunday. As the years have passed point totals have increased through various scoring tweaks and roster augmentations. It used to be that 200 points was a great week; now anything less is hardly enough to win. No team has ever broken 254 points- all three of the league's top scores were halted decimals past 253. The next couple weeks may be a team's best chance to top it, as injuries have yet to reach epidemic levels, and bye weeks have not yet set it.

Pretty quiet on the trade front thus far, but the needs are just starting to arise.

Week 2 Matchups

• Phoenix Uprising214.34Pawnee Pride197.97
  FinalRecap
• Deputy Van Halens230.22Les Tres Petites202.04
  FinalRecap
• Revis Islanders207.86New York's Finest165.42
  FinalRecap
• OAKWOOD DRIVER233.04Malibu Deadbeats240.75
  FinalRecap
• Hill Valley McFlys160.42Manitoba Moosecrew167.72
  FinalRecap
• Savannah Petes201.96HoChiMinhLeadFarmers223.49
  FinalRecap
• South Park Cows202.26Saskatoon Sasquatch243.64
  FinalRecap

STRAY THOUGHT WK 2 POWER RANKINGS:

1. 243 SAS: Preseason hype train still on track; Matty Ice 21st qb drafted, 1st in points through two.
2. 240 MDB: Travis Benjamin was #24 WR last year, suddenly primed to be even better.
3. 233 OAK: Of course Oakwood's best ever performance is a loss; Bonus All Day heartbreak!
4. 230 DVH: Week two is when Cole Beasley appears to not miss a beat replacing Keenan Allen.
5. 223 HCM: Wins its first Setpember Matchup since 09/08/2013. For real. Well rounded squad.
6. 214 PHX: When all seemed lost, Stefon Diggs transformed into Antonio Brown.
7. 207 ISL: Why does everyone always think Forte is dead? He's a slasher villain. He never dies.
8. 202 SPC: Defending champs drop to 0-2, still might be a week away from having a real RB.
9. 202 LTP: Hasn't made a roster move yet, but in all honesty, hasn't really needed to.
10. 201 SAV: The team went TE in round one and has zero points from TEs through two weeks.
11. 197 PAW: When all seemed lost, Jeremy Langford remained Jeremy Langford.
12. 167 MMC: Opponents have only managed 332 points in two games; MC capitalize both times.
13. 165 NYF: Quick finger math deduces that there were about 60 points left on the bench. D'oh!
14. 160 HVM: Jameis falls hard, Woodhead falls harder. Best options left sitting on the bench.

TEAM OF THE WEEK: 

TRADE 2: VII Redux

Last year, South Park defeated Pawnee in Larkspur Bowl VII. This year, the two have found themselves partnering for a trade after just a single week of action:

SOUTH PARK ACQUIRES:

• RB Spencer Ware

PAWNEE ACQUIRES:

• WR Vincent Jackson

This trade makes a ton of sense: South Park needs a RB while waiting for their two workhorses to return to the field- Jamaal Charles is nursing injury, while Leveon Bell serves his time on suspension. Pawnee went into week one with three WRs on the roster- and Kamar Aiken contributed barely a cameo, scoring an anemic 2.7. Vincent Jackson also had a quiet week one, but owns a much longer track record, and more definitive role in the offense than Aiken. With Aiken's top asset being a clean bill of health, he's better cast in a depth role, flexed into matchup play.

Ware's long term purpose is uncertain, but his immediate production is undeniable; As long as he is healthy, he should serve his purpose as a bridge to Charles, and then has the added benefit of being a high upside handcuff for the elite but injury prone back. Pawnee was able to sell high and buy low, moving from a surplus of serviceable running backs to address an obvious need. Vincent Jackson has been a quality starter in this league for the better part of a decade. Age may have sapped some of his burst, but it hasn't hindered his height: At 6'5" and seeing a full compliment of snaps, he should be able to bundle red zone opportunities and first downs into a weekly role the rest of the year. He shouldn't be missed too much in South Park, where Jordan Matthews, Marvin Jones, Willie Snead, and Michael Crabtree would have shared the majority of snaps anyway. 

VIII: Week One Results

Chapter one has concluded. Fifteen more chapters have to be written. We have been introduced to the characters and here are our first impressions:

POWER OUTPUT:

1. LTP 253
2. HVM 236
3. DVH 225
4. SAS 213
5. MMC 203
6. PHX 201
7. ISL 197
8. MDB 196
9. SAV 191
10. SPC 185
11. HCM 179
12. PAW 176
13. OAK 172
14. NYF 144

Week 1 Matchups

• Phoenix Uprising201.64Deputy Van Halens225.62
  FinalRecap
• Pawnee Pride176.88New York's Finest144.46
  FinalRecap
• Revis Islanders197.56Malibu Deadbeats196.14
  FinalRecap
• OAKWOOD DRIVER172.03Manitoba Moosecrew203.16
  FinalRecap
• Hill Valley McFlys236.44HoChiMinhLeadFarmers179.80
  FinalRecap
• Savannah Petes191.39Saskatoon Sasquatch213.96
  FinalRecap
• South Park Cows185.42Les Tres Petites253.60
  FinalRecap

LTP 253.60 over SPC 185.42
Toronto has officially inched the all-time single week record forward; Wait! Sorry. Toronto has officially centimetered (centremetered?) the record forward barring stat corrections, to 253.60; They now hold two of the top three scores of all time, all of which start with 253. Andrew Luck should be a top flight option every week if he can avoid lacerating any of his internal organs this year- the same goes for the bulk of the team's veteran core. As is custom, Les Tres Petites are carrying little in the way of offensive depth, with just a single reserve at WR, RB, and TE. The Cows go down to their former ally in their debut as defending champions despite a stellar performance from flex play Willie Snead. Russell Wilson had a tough game and enters week two questionable, and tight end Cameron Brate first week as starting tight end was hardly promising.

HVM 236.44 over HCM 179.80
Hill Valley starts their season with a victory over the Lead Farmers, as they did in 2014. Jabaal Sheard paced starting defensive linemen in week one, and the majority of the offense did their part as well. Famous Jameis got off to a great start, tossing four touchdowns in his first turn as a McFly. Brandin Cooks was responsible for about 30% of HCM City's production; Only seven other starters hit double digits and only DL Mo Wilkerson exceeded his projections by more than one point. Not quite an embarrassing point total, but not enough to win most weeks.

DVH 225.62 over PHX 201.64
Deputy gets the win with TE Dwayne Allen and CB Bashaud Breeland making the difference- but the team loses second round pick Keenan Allen for the season to a torn ACL. This is is second year in a row that the Van Halens have had their second round pick go down with a torn ACL before completing a single game, which makes is an official curse; Last year's accursed Kelvin Benjamin is the only proven weapon left at the position, where Tyler Lockett, Rishard Matthews, and Josh Doctson will have to fill the void. Deputy takes on high powered LTP next week in a matchup to watch. The Uprising got a combined 1.8 points from their first and 'second' round picks, woeful returns from JJ Watt and Dez Bryant. The team still eclipsed 200 points in defeat, and should look for better days ahead from both players. Behavioral issues will keep Vontaze Burfict and Josh Gordon out for two and three more games, respectively. Disrespectively!?

SAS 213.96 over SAV 191.39
After 'winning' the draft, the Sasquatch rolled through week one, defeating Savannah comfortably. A team will lose with 213 this year, and several teams will (and have already) won with 191 or less, but those are the breaks! Saskatoon's offense was good, the defense was adequate, and Dan Bailey was money; the kicker could have had a truly spectacular week if the clock had not run out on a final field goal attempt. The bad news: Both of the victor's top receivers are nursing foot injuries, and while Julio Jones' ankle injury appears to be minor, Sammy Watkins might be on the shelf awhile. The Petes failed to cover team Captain Rob Gronkowski's injury properly, as Tyler Kroft scored zilch; Five of the team's eight defensive starters scored single digits: 6.5, 4.0, 3.5, 3.0, and 1.0. Those are not winning scores. Thus, the team did not win.

MMC 203.16 over OAK 172.03
Manitoba took care of business in week one, inevitably dropping the Drivers to 0-1 in the process. Oakwood has never won a season opener, now 0-4 all-time in game ones. Besides a disappearing act from Calvin Pryor, an injury to Leodis McKelvin, and a slow start Steve Smith, the MooseCrew saw all of their players meet or exceed projections. Oakwood made a poor choice keeping Brandon LaFell on the bench while questionable Markus Wheaton ended up a game day inactive; Injuries to Demaryius Thomas and DeVante Parker have the team's week two lineup in flux. Only Karlos Dansby was able to stand out on the Driver defense.

ISL 197.56 over MDB 196.14
The tightest matchup of the week is still subject to stat corrections- The Islanders are currently holding a margin of just 1.42 over Malibu, so this thing could hinge on a single solo tackle. Both teams will have to hold their breath until Thursday morning. (This advice should not be taken literally.) Should the score stand, the Islanders can thank everyone on their offense except Gary Barnidge, who went pumpkin. A change behind center may help last year's Cinderella; On the other side of the ball, Anthony Barr was the only weak spot. For the freshly recolored Deadbeats, the what-ifs are a plenty: What-if they had lined up Virgil Green and Terrelle Pryor instead of Antonio Gates and Travis Benjamin? What if they had held on to Chandler Jones? The team still showed plenty in a nailbiter and will look to right the ship in week two against Oakwood.

PAW 176.88 over NYF 144.46
When two teams both deserve to lose, one team has got to deserve the loss A LITTLE MORE. New York started last season with nine straight wins, part of a fourteen game streak dating back to their 2014 LBVI championship season. They will start with no such streak in 2016, with a paltry showing in week one- they'll need to win out from here to match their 12-1 record for last season. A weak group of receivers gave an especially week showing this time around- they need a breakout or some reinforcements, but it is unlikely they do THIS badly again. Pawnee's dire group of wideouts looked good in comparison- there are two of them! The team's defense slagged off after Captain Luke Kuechly and Kiko Alonso, but there's room to improve there.

TEAM OF THE WEEK:

SEASON PREVIEW 2016

The 2016 season kicked off last night! Week one will continue on Sunday.

Power Rankings: These numbers represent Yahoo!'s projected optimized lineups with current rosters- they estimate current injuries, and have been modulated by a player's current role and outlook. They're not going to stand up to injury or development, but are an objective (generated by Y!, not me) gauge for currently rostered talent, so we'll use it to check on what appear to be each team's strengths, weaknesses, and X-Factors.

Captain: WR Julio Jones

Draft Grade: A+

Strength: Saskatoon boasts high upside and quality depth at every position, with ten of their sixteen starters projected to score over 200 points. With three starting caliber RBs and WRs, their starting lineup is probably the league's most intimidating to start the year.

Weakness: Their top two options at the flex are rookies: Will Fuller and Michael Thomas both have the pedigree to succeed out of the gate, but their opportunities might be limited, and the leash will be short. Past them, Robert Woods and Jordan Cameron are okay depth, but hardly exciting.

X-Factor: QB Matt Ryan was snatched up in the 23rd round to continue to helm the Sasquatch. The team's belief in Matty Ice has been almost unwavering, as this will be his seventh year under center for the franchise. The one year he wasn't? 2010, when Aaron Rodgers led the team to an 8-5 season, their best ever. If Ryan can be an elite quarterback, this team might deliver on this prognostication.

Captain: WR Antonio Brown

Draft Grade: A

Strength: The WRs are superb, as Brown, Tate, Maclin, and Cooper are all studs. Behind them, blue chip rookie Corey Coleman should be given a chance to develop without being counted on to deliver in the starting lineup right away. The team's fantastic WR situation gives them the flexibility to roster eight credible RBs on their carousel.

Weakness: The TE position is the obvious frailty; Eric Ebron has the tools to be an every week threat, but has been unable to put them together consistently through two years in the league, and his health is always a factor. He doubled his rookie production in year two- the McFlys need a similar jump from him in his third season. 

X-Factor: QB Jameis Winston is something of a dice roll on a roster that was carefully selected for its substantial floor, after two years out of the playoffs. Famous Jameis showed flashes of starpower in year one, but will need to take a big step in year two to be a top ten signal caller. He threw eight picks in his last eight games last year- protecting the ball will be a critical sign of growth in 2016.

Captain: DE JJ Watt

Draft Grade: B+

Strength: Phoenix had a dominant defense in 2015, and bet on many of the same faces this year, bringing back Watt, Reshad Jones, Telvin Smith, and Vontaze Burfict. Overdrafting IDPs can be a risky proposition, but all four (along with newcomer Kwon Alexander) are expected to score at a 200+ pace. 

Weakness: QB Andy Dalton was a safe play through his first four seasons- sixteen games each year, quality numbers, but nothing eye popping: middling TD, INT, and yardage rates, with steady year to year improvement in completion percentage and yards per attempt. He was on the verge of breaking out in 2015, before an injury ended his season in his 13th game. If he is not all the way back to the cusp, he's a mediocrity.

X-Factor: TE Jimmy Graham was an elite TE for four years before changing offenses, a perennial top thirty pick in the Larkspur Bowl draft. But in 2015 his role became muddled and his outlook murky- that was before he suffered a grievous patellar tendon injury that left his career in doubt. If he comes all the way back he might be the steal of the draft; Flip side, he may lack the capability to even play a role.

Captain: RB Todd Gurley

Draft Grade: B+

Strength: Of the team's sixteen starters, thirteen of them went over 185 points in 2015, (eleven of them over 200) which should give the team a quality base of tried and true options. The safeties, Deone Bucannon and Landon Collins might be the best one two punch of game changers in the league, and their corners Marcus Peters and Trumaine Johnson combined to pick off fifteen balls last time around. A repeat performance will match stability against league wide volatility and give the Lead Farmers a major advantage.

Weakness: Blake Bortles led the league in turnovers last year with 23, undermining his value substantially. While he also delivered a robust 37 total TDs, the weekly variance could mean he hurts as much as he helps. With a ho-hum bench, bye weeks or injuries might have the Lead Farms oscillating with their quarterback's production. 

X-Factor: RB Todd Gurley was allowed to come along slow his rookie year to ensure his torn ACL was 100%. Once he got going, he showcased elite skills and production, with six straight dominating performances, ranging from 89-163 total yards. But in the back half of the season, Gurley tapered off a bit, only breaching that level once in the following six games. He will have to sustain this year to justify his high draft slot.

Captain: WR AJ Green

Draft Grade: A

Strength: The WR trio of AJ Green, Brandon Marshall, and Larry Fitzgerald has the most substantial resume of any unit in the league- three bonafide aces, still at or near the top of their game, staying healthy and productive will be the key to Toronto's season. There's not a ton of depth behind them- WR Tavon Austin is a neat gadget player who has slowly matured into a feared playmaker, while Jermaine Kearse is more of a role player- a decent bye week fill in, but not a guy you'd want to rely upon for any duration. 

Weakness: LTP eschews the strategy of amassing overwhelming RB depth, instead taking a wait and see approach. Their starters, Latavius Murray and Rashad Jennings are both good options, guys that should get plenty of touches as long as they stay healthy. Behind them, there's versatile Charles Sims, who is efficient with his limited touches, but not a guy with overwhelming value. Behing him there's... no one. 

X-Factor: TE Coby Fleener changed offenses and carried a ton of hype into the preseason, but did little in training camp or the preseason to turn critics into believers. He has the chops and the spot to be a major asset on paper, but now he has to go out and do it week after week. Can he? Will he?

Captain: RB David Johnson

Draft Grade: B+

Strength: Keenan Allen and Kelvin Benjamin shuld be a dynamic duo- Benjamin was DVH's second round pick last year, but went down with a torn ACL in the preseason, seriously undercutting the team's attrition. He's already managed to prove he is all the way back, scoring a very healthy 19.6 in the season opener. Tyler Lockett and Rishard Matthews are not as dependable, but both offer upside and should see a starter's diet of targets. 

Weakness: David Johnson and Doug Martin might both be 300+ runningbacks this year, which would of course, be incredible. Deputy has got to hope that happens, because that would mean they were both healthy most of the time. They've double down on Johnson insurance with CJ2K and Andre Ellington, but have no obvious contingency should something happen to the Muscle Hamster. That seems like a strategic oversight.

X-Factor: QB Drew Brees and QB Matt Stafford. The Van Halen's yearly foray into the QB market has drawn mixed results, and this year's season could depend on 2016's version of the wager. Drew Brees has been a top fantasy quaterback for over a decade, and there's no reason to suspect he might suddenly stop (a la Peyton Manning 2015) so he's the starter. But Matt Stafford, bereft of Megatron (forever) has done a curious thing this preseason: he's turned into a more accurate thrower, doing more with higher percentage throws and less gunslinging. With a big start, perhaps Brees becomes a significant trade chip. 

Captain: RB Ezekiel Elliott

Draft Grade: C

Strength: The WR depth is ridiculous. While half the league went zero RB, the Islanders spent the mid rounds picking up all of the interesting wideouts they could snag. Top-end options Alshon Jeffery and Julian Edelman are likely to find their way to the injury report at some point this season, but Emmanuel Sanders, Pierre Garcon, Sterling Shepard and Davante Adams give them four more options they can be comfortable dressing in any given week. 

Weakness: Ezekiel Elliot should be close to unstoppable his rookie year- but there has been a pileup of vague allegations buzzing around him that have to, at the very least, make the possibility of a looming suspension worrisome. Batterymate Matt Forte has a sterling reputation, but has a lot of wear on his tires at this point in his career, and is entering a brand new offense. As long as both players remain on the field, they're potent. Behind them are scat back extraordinaire Shane Vereen (who sometimes gets forgotten by his offense) and Forte insurance Bilal Powell. Not world beaters. 

X-Factor: DE Khalil Mack went toe to toe with JJ Watt last season for the best at the position. This is significant, because, since Watt burst onto the Larkspur Bowl scene with the Islanders in 2011, he has been in a class of his own at the league's most barren slot. Watt's price tag has swelled to the first round- Mack in the fifth might be grand larceny if he can do it again. 

Captain: RB Le'veon Bell

Draft Grade: C+

Strength: Oh my, those linebackers. Lavonte David is right there next to Luke Kuechly in the conversation for best backer in the league, and going four rounds later is a veritable thrift store grab. DeAndre Levy killed Savannah with his 2015 non-season, but healthy he is in the same class of playmaker, and by all accounts, that is what he is. Ryan Shazier is the sort of bigger, faster, stronger wunderkind that swarms to the ball.  I didn't mean for this paragraph to get erotic, it just overwhelmed me.

Weakness: The Cows are experts at subverting the projections and upending Yahoo!'s expectations, so their low grade shouldn't be a concern. Likewise, starting a couple of high ceiling platoon backs in Christine Michael and DeAndre Washington isn't a big deal when ostensibly, Jamaal Charles and Le'veon Bell will be inducing bowel movements on the other sideline by October. What may be a concern is the lack of elite WR talent for the notoriously non-trading South Park squad; Marvin Jones, Michael Crabtree, and Vincent Jackson are all nice reliable veterans and value picks, but all three seem to aspire to WR2 status. Willie Snead and Jordan Mathews do round out a good corps (with rookie Tyler Boyd waiting in the wings) but it still looks to be more about floor than ceiling. 

X-Factor: WR Russell Wilson appeared to be one kind of thing early in his career (winning game manager with the athleticism to make things happen in the clutch) before turning into a whole other kind of thing down the stretch for Pawnee last year: an unstoppable monster who could run and gun with the rest of them, and would, until you were murdered DEAD. Is that who he is now? Or did getting laid/married ruin him? If he struggles, you KNOW that will be the tabloid. 

Captain: WR Odell Beckham Jr

Draft Grade: B

Strength: A very well rounded team from the top down, Aaron Rodgers has a deep group of WRs that have high floors and high ceilings, along with a TE in Travis Kelce who is near the top of the mountain already, with the potential to summit. The defense is credible, and though perhaps not a special unit, it's no achilles for the Crew.

Weakness: The RBs are far from plug and play: Thomas Rawls has been slow to recover and may not inherit that top dog role that was assumed. Likewise, Justin Forsett went all the way to the edge of joblessness before staying in the mix, but with a role that is far from assured. LaGarrette Blount remains tied to a fickle offense that relies upon deception, where his game plan prominence is likely to wax and wane on whimsy. Chris Ivory has never stayed healthy long enough to be a feature back, and is already questionable for week one, with a younger more versatile back already solidified on the team. Four good options that will require a lot of juggling and luck to be maximized.

X-Factor: WR Jordy Nelson, like Kelvin Benjamin in Deputy, Jordy is back with the squad that lost him in 2015, getting a do-over on his lost season. Unlike Kelvin, Jordy has not been able to prove he is over the hump yet, and will need to show he is all the way back before this team can really be seen as a title contender. 

Captain: TE Rob Gronkowski

Draft Grade: C-

Strength: There's a lot of high end talent here: Tom Brady, Allen Robinson, Rob Gronkowski, Eddie Lacy, Navorro Bowman, and D'Qwell Jackson all project to be upper crust options at their position. That should mask deficiencies, and also gives the team a marketable asset in every high-end market. Of course, after last year's market stripped the team down, we might see the former 'Chicago Blockbusters' be so aggressive. If bounce back candidates Mike Wallace, Victor Cruz, and Anquan Boldin can join Robinson and dependable Eric Decker this team could make a real run of things. 

Weakness: Eddie Lacy retains upper echelon value, but his lows really sunk his promise in 2015. Purportedly refocused, he needs to be a bell cow for the Petes or they're in trouble. Jonathan Stewart is a steady presence as the second RB, and Deangelo Williams showed he has plenty of tread on his tires, but after a three game cameo as starter, he'll cede his share of carries, leaving his long term value in flux, and no fourth option currently rostered. Gronk lends considerable positional monopoly when healthy- but he's already been ruled out week one. 

X-Factor: Ryan Fitzpatrick finished sixth in points last year, but was an after thought in the draft. He'll have a month behind the wheel before Tom Brady returns from suspension; While Brady is an obvious upgrade, if Fitzy can show that last years wasn't a fluke, Brady could fetch a haul from a QB needy team.

Captain: RB Adrian Peterson

Draft Grade: C+

Strength: De naming pattern is strong: Demaryius Thomas, DeVante Parker, Desean Jackson, and Demarco Murray combine to form a very cohesive bit of detail. Unfortunately all four face some big question marks coming into the season- if each can surpass expectations and deliver, the Drivers could derail the opposition. The tight ends are pretty good: Jason Witten is dependable, and when Tyler Eifert is ready to debut, he could be a difference maker. 

Weakness: Adrian Peterson will need to bear the load for the Drivers this year, as he and Big Ben Roethlisberger are tagged as the only two offensive players tagged for 200+ seasons. Jordan Hicks and Zach Brown are forecast for 200+ seasons, though neither has surpassed that number before. Past that, we see some 

X-Factor: DeMarco Murray led the league in rushing two years ago, and then left a very fruitful arrangement for the unknown. (Well, a lot of money, and also the unknown.) His skills don't seem to have regressed as much as his context- his new offense seems determined to run the ball and maximize his talents. If he and fellow Sooner Adrian Peterson both hit, the Drivers will be booming.

Captain: WR DeAndre Hopkins

Draft Grade: D

Strength: Malibu comes in with three potentially elite running backs: CJ Anderson, Lamar Miller, and Arian Foster. Anderson was a bust as a first round pick a year ago, but got it going in the second half of the season and has already filed away a 31.3 point performance in week one, some good mojo. Miller and Foster have flipped contexts, but both might fit better in their new environs; Neither excelled with LHT last year, so the new digs can only promise better returns.

Weakness: The Deadbeats D grade can be attributed to a faulty connection that kept them from drafting a defense. Fortunately, that plays right into the team's strength, as they have grabbed some sleeper cell entities that could prove quite formidable; Still, any bankable assets besides grizzled veteran Reggie Nelson, Malibu will have to prove it can stop somebody before it is inferred. 

X-Factor: LB Deion Jones is a rookie that will be thrown right into the fire; Somewhat unheralded, he's going to have a chance to be a major factor, much like CJ Mosley in 2014. He'll anchor the defense, and there will be a direct correlation between his play, and the Deadbeat's success.

Captain: QB Cam Newton

Draft Grade: C-

Strength: Cam Newton and Devonta Freeman were the top point scorers at their positions last year, putting up 395.78 and 325.60, respectively. That was a margin of 59.42 between Cam and #2 QB Russell Wilson, and a margin of 24.00 between Dev and #2 RB Adrian Peterson. Consider the roof raised. Carlos Hyde and Frank Gore give the team three credible backs- if all three can stay healthy, they should be a well oiled machine through the regular season. The TE position is also a strength: Julius Thomas has shown a great track record in the red zone, and is fully healthy again. Martellus Bennett might not have the great volume he is accustomed to- but he also should find a lot more space to work with, which should lend to a leap in efficiency.

Weakness: The Receiving Corps is weak. Randall Cobb is their best weapon, but he struggled at times in 2015, and will need a resurgence to WR1 status if this team is going to score through the air. Kevin White, Devin Funchess, and Laquon Treadwell are all too young and unproven to be relied on early; Kenny Stills and Danny Amendola are veterans, but both were up and down in 2015. With some good fortune, there could be a quality rotation at play there, but bad luck could see single digits in the lineup and the big numbers on the bench.

X-Factor: RB Dev Freeman was a star last year in Phoenix, but has had his share of doubters coming into 2016. New York moved Dez Bryant for him and Treadwell, and has to believe he'll be a top five RB again this year- he showed a capacity to produce in all situations, but also appeared to wear down towards the end of the season. Will slightly less volume mean more long lasting production?

Captain: LB Luke Kuechly

Draft Grade: D

Strength: Luke Kuechly struggled with injuries early last year, but bounced back to be the most dominating defensive player in the league through the back two thirds of the season. He's long been among the best linebackers in the game, but he will need to continue his torrid pace to justify a first round pick; Besides Greg Olsen, there's no real marquee names on the offense- Mike Evans and Melvin Gordon are the keys to the season. Both are coming off somewhat disappointing years and need to be top notch and healthy to give the Pride a shot at returning to avenge their LBVII defeat.

Weakness: Doug Baldwin and Kamer Aiken are not causing anyone to quake with fear; Baldwin's late season run feels fluky- eleven of his fourteen TDs came in a five game stretch, he only went over 100 receiving yards three times, and he only had double digit targets three times. He's a nice piece, but he's not an elite WR. Kamer Aiken was forced into a starting role last year, and did alright- think Mohamed Sanu 2014. While he has shown himself to be competent, he's no longer the last man standing, and his talent is just average at best. There are no other WRs on the roster.

X-Factor: TE Jared Cook is in a position to put up the best numbers of his life, although, that sort of thing gets written about the athletic freak every preseason. This time it might be true: In a new offense, it might happen. For the Pride, it has to- he's the only flex option for week one. Bonus X-Factor, part of the reason the Pride bottom the power rankings is rookie CB Vernon Hargreaves being projected to score goose-eggs. He'll score a lot more than that this year!