Wednesday, October 10, 2018

TRADE 8: Robby Three-Times

Robby Anderson is on the move again, the third time he's been traded in the past two weeks; First he went from Philly to Phoenix, then the next day on to South Park... now he's in Hill Valley.

HILL VALLEY ACQUIRES WR ROBBY ANDERSON
SOUTH PARK ACQUIRES LB AVERY WILLIAMSON

Robby Anderson has been a low volume receiver all year- in week one he found the end zone with his only reception, but then he went almost dormant: 3 catches, 2 catches, 2 catches, for a grand total of 67 yards in three games. But last week the lanky wideout made the most of his grabs, turning three catches into 123 yards and finding pay dirt twice. While that may end up being his finest hour in 2018, it could also be indicative of a growing rapport with a young QB, and more regular chances to make magic happen. Anderson has uncommon size and speed, so while he may not be a physical presence in the red zone, he's certainly a threat to go all the way every time he snags the ball. With the McFlys hurting at WR, Anderson brings some upside to the depleted unit- and with more looks might end up carving out a full time role. Originally drafted in the 5th round of the 2018 draft, a few solid weeks in a row might replenish his sullied value.


Going back to the Cows is Avery Williamson; Erstwhile capable of posting decent tackle numbers, he's blossomed into a full on playmaker in recent weeks, scoring sacks, a PD, a forced fumble, and a recovery. On the fringe between LB1 and LB2 status, he was down on a strong McFly depth chart, but slots in immediately with the Cows, with DeMario Davis on bye. If South Park runs out of patience with Wes Woodyard's health or Anthony Hitchens' uneven performances, Avery and sophomore standout Jayon Brown are coming on strong in their absence.

The Cows are putting their faith in a pair of burgeoning receivers, Chester Rogers and Geronimo Allison each of whom have seen major upticks in targets in their most games. If Larry Fitzgerald can round back into even a diminished version of last year's performer, the hall of famer should also be a volume monster alongside Keenan Allen and Julian Edelman. Clearly the Cows value a solid floor most of all, keeping John Brown as their plug and play home run threat and selling high on Anderson's recent performance.

Tuesday, October 9, 2018

X: Week Five Results

After finishing in dead last in 2017, the Manitoba Moosecrew find themselves atop the standings in week five, 2018. An 8-5 playoff team in 2016 Manitoba's current iteration has not been ovepowering every week, (though they were in downing the South Park Cows in week 4) but that have found ways to win; At 4-1 they've captured pole position on the strength of four straight victories... and their only loss was upon a last second reversal in week one. No one will sleep on the team going forward; they should face a test in week six against the defending champion Phoenix Uprising.

Our middle group is half a dozen of one, (3-2) and half a dozen of the other (2-3) then at the bottom the South Philly Rum Ham (1-4). This will be the third straight week where a pair of teams (Lions, Saints) are on bye before we get into the real tests of attrition: four teams are off in weeks six, seven, and nine, and six are off in weeks eight and ten. Then just two teams will be off in week twelve, and we're back to full strength... besides all of the injuries we'll accrue in the intervening weeks.

SCOREBOARD:


Week 5 Matchups


POWER OUTPUT:
  1. SAV 266: Appears to be on the ascent, with depth and upside on offense and a defense full of solid baseline playmakers; By playoff time this could be the league's premier WR attack. 
  2. MMC 260: I just realized that the Moosecrew reached this score with Crowell's 41 points on the bench. Losing Jay Ajayi shouldn't hurt so much with Michel and McCoy on the bench.
  3. SPC 227: The Cows played well and still have plenty in reserves and are still a top notch contender despite recent misfortune causing a two game slide.
  4. PAW 220: The Pride's offense looks to be in gear, with a multitude of upside options at WR3 and Flex. With a premier TE affixed for the long haul, the RB2 spot becomes their priority.
  5. PHX 207: Some monster performances on defense hid some paltry returns on the back end of the offense, where TE, WR3, RB2, and Flex were all in the single digits this week.
  6. HVM 206: Two goose eggs in the offense and six single digits on the defense and the McFlys notched a victory anyway. There are questions, but Hill Valley usually finds answers. 
  7. BKB: 206: With a pair of the league's top WRs and the best TE in the game, this team has a lot of potential. But the bench depth (Fitzpatrick, Anderson, Ross, Washington) is highly suspect.
  8. HCM 204: Demaryius Thomas showed he still has that playmaking potential, but this team might have the worst group of RBs going right now, and the Gronks been fairly quiet.
  9. MAL 194: With an assortment of high upside players, they've been unlucky in deploying them three weeks in a row. Tactful depth consolidation appealing to byes could work out well.
  10. BIN 193: Suffering a tough L in a winnable matchup, the Snipers can stay the course with a talented roster of high floor players. (The Ingram benching stings a lot though.)
  11. DVH 184: The Van Halen's scoring binge ends with a completely adequate total and a thirty point loss. Injuries have hampered a defense that when healthy, is perhaps the league's best.
  12. NYF 178: Doug Baldwin's return has hurt more than it has helped, though once he gets going he should elevate this team's baseline; Eric Ebron looks like a top 5 TE too.
  13. PRH 163: This was a horrible, horrible showing by the offense. Putrid. If OJ Howard is on the mend sooner rather later, Jimmy Graham might fetch multiple upgrades in a blockbuster.
  14. ORG 163: After a three game barn storming tour the team laid an egg. IT HAPPENS. The team could use some WR & RB depth- a more aggressive approach to the wire might help.
TEAM OF THE WEEK:

Friday, October 5, 2018

X: September Power Rankings

We're a month into the season! A month is made up of four weeks! Four weeks means four matchups! Four matchups means power rankings! A reminder that power rankings are simply teams in order of POINTS FOR. This year we'll also check in on a team's best offensive and defensive players over the past four weeks, along with their quarterback's numbers. (For this reason, O MVPs will only consider RBs, WRs, and TEs.) This first round will obviously be year to date scores, but future iterations should be more interesting.


Results for the New England and Indianapolis will not include Week 5.
Washington and Carolina had their bye week in week 4 and only have three games played.


  1. Deputy Van Halens (979.43) (3-1)
O MVP: RB Melvin Gordon - 103.90
D MVP: LB Darius Leonard - 110.00
QB: Kirk Cousins - 91.28

  2. South Park Cows (945.5) (3-1)
O MVP: RB Todd Gurley II - 112.50
D MVP: S Bradley McDougald - 72.95
QB: Drew Brees - 100.80

  3. New York's Finest (883.11) (2-2)
O MVP: WR Desean Jackson - 81.48
D MVP: DL Khalil Mack - 81.85
QB: Andy Dalton - 80.38

  4. Orgrimmar Horde (877.35) (3-1)
O MVP: RB Ezekiel Elliot - 94.60
D MVP: Cory Littleton - 67.85
QB: Cam Newton - 75.84

  5. Binghamton Snipers (847.14) (2-2)
O MVP: WR Cooper Kupp - 106.34
D MVP: CB Ronald Darby - 59.80
QB: Jared Goff - 106.34

  6. Hill Valley McFlys (837.81) (2-2)
O MVP: RB James Conner - 77.70
D MVP: CB Damarious Randall - 65.60
QB: Aaron Rodgers - 73.00

  7. Phoenix Uprising (818.52) (2-2)
O MVP: WR AJ Green - 71.80
D MVP: DL - Danielle Hunter - 57.50
QB: Andrew Luck - 72.04

  8. South Philly Rum Ham (811.99) (1-3)
O MVP: RB Alvin Kamara - 133.10
D MVP: DL JJ Watt - 69.00
QB: Matt Ryan - 106.44

  9. Manitoba Moosecrew (796.7) (3-1)
O MVP: WR Mike Evans - 85.90
D MVP: LB Jordan Hicks - 63.65
QB: Deshaun Watson - 77.44

  10. Mar-a-Lago Grabbers (793.75) (2-2)
O MVP: WR Juju Smith-Schuster 89.24
D MVP: S Ha'Sean Clinton-Dix - 52.25
QB: Philip Rivers - 89.24

  11. Pawnee Pride (787.06) (1-3)
O MVP: RB Saquon Barkley - 88.70
D MVP: S Derwin James - 75.20
QB: Patrick Mahomes - 118.30

  12. HoChiMinhLeadFarmers (787.01) (1-3)
O MVP: WR Michael Thomas - 85.40
D MVP: LB Fred Warner - 71.50
QB: Ben Roethlisberger - 85.26

  13. Savannah Petes (784.27) (1-3)
O MVP: WR Adam Thielen - 88.80
D MVP: LB Kiko Alonso - 70.05
QB: Tom Brady - 62.22

  14. Brew-tang Killa Beez (697.56) (2-2)
O MVP: WR Tyreek Hill - 87.03
D MVP: LB Von Miller - 55.50
QB: Ryan Fitspatrick - 101.94

Thursday, October 4, 2018

Early Returns from Late Picks

The end of the draft is filled with endlessly churnable drek, as teams fill out their rosters with depth pieces that either afford a safety net, a lottery ticket.. or just fill a space. It's been established that finding a gem at the end of the draft can make a huge difference on your roster; but especially in the early weeks, the leash is short. Put up or shut up, produce or be cut. PRODUCERS?

A month into the season, lets take a look at the last ten rounds of the draft and see if there are glimmers of diamonds in the rough. (Hint: There are!) There's also bound to be a few names on the following lists that seem unremarkable now, but come the end of the season may end up being key players on some team... though not always the squad that drafted them.

ROUND 13:
A big round for IDPs, Tyrann Mathieu has been safety #15, which isn't so remarkable on its own- but coming an injury and in a new defense, the Honey Badger has shown enough that it can be INFERRED bigger games are coming on the back end of a quality South Park defense.

Mike Williams had three double digit weeks to start the year before a letdown in week four for the McFlys. It doesn't matter; With an elite skillset and a developing rapport, the second year WR will dominate some matchups. There's bound to be some inconsistency too, but a WR2 this late in the draft is noteworthy.

Adrian Peterson's long and storied career saw him selected in the first round many-a-times, but at 33 years old and with the tread on his tire well worn it was fair to wonder what he had left. Well, in two out of three matchups the answer was... a lot. Enough to see the Rum Ham jettison Jordan Howard and trust the future hall of famer to bellcow their offense.

ROUND 14:
Kenny Stills's reputation is one of a deep threat, but he's been a credible flex this year, and a credit to Savannah's deep WR corps. Injuries are already testing the Petes, but Stills should be relied upon for okay volume and a coin flip on turning in a big play.

After a goose egg in week one, Calvin Ridley has been a bonafide stud three weeks in a row, scoring six touchdowns during that time. That pace will slow, but the Crew found themselves a great compliment at a position of strength. Slotting in behind Odell Beckham and Mike Evans (but ahead of Kelvin Benjamin, Paul Richardson, Terrelle Pryor, and Mohammed Sanu) he gives Manitoba a claim on the league's best WR trifecta.

Avery Williamson was drafted by Orgrimmar but has joined fellow 14th round pick on Hill Valley's defense. Neither player is in the 'cream of the crop' at their position, but each has top 20 numbers and could easily push higher than that.

George Kittle is TE3, sandwiched between Travis Kelce and Zack Ertz... who both went at the top of the third round. At a desolate position, he wouldn't even need to maintain that pace to be a steal at the caboose of the 14th round. If he finishes as a top seven TE he's still great value to the Cows.

ROUND 15:
Derwin James is the top safety in the league, and early favorite for defensive rookie of the year, and a 15th round pick, ten rounds after the first safeties came off the board. As a rookie, will offenses study the tape and find ways to exploit him? Perhaps. But Pawnee's gifted playmaker with top notch pedigree is going to get snaps as long as he's healthy, and I wouldn't bet against him staying on the fast track to superstardom.

Orgimmar's Myles Garrett could easily end up a top five defensive lineman this year. In fact, that's exactly where he slots right now, 4/13ths of the way through the season. There's only one player at the position ahead of him that's offering better value (we'll get to him) but 2017s #1 overall NFL pick Garrett still has plenty of upside to capitalize upon. Don't sleep on him potentially being top three DL by the end of the year.

Kenny Golladay has broken out in a big way for Savannah, putting up WR1 numbers in the early going. His evolution might give the Petes the leeway to move one of there more established wideouts (Adam Thielen, Sammy Watkins, Josh Gordon) for running back help if the backfield's injury problems continue to linger.

Andrew Luck going as the 16th quarterback off the board is understandable and yet also somehow unfathomable. His inability to get on the field for two straight years had a lot of people questioning what he had left at 29 years old. While the jury is still out on if he can be a top quarterback in this league long term, his 39.26 points in week four declare his upside for Phoenix.

ROUND 16:
Jamal Adams was a late draft pick by the Van Halens, and party to their defense's terrible week one performance. After wholesale changes, Adams remains, and the past three weeks have shown record setting results. A lot of that is credit to top IDP Darius Leonard, but Adams has done his part too, ranking in as the third best safety to date.

 Jordan Hicks is also producing at a LB1 rate, showing at #7 overall a month into the season. Another player who has always rated well when healthy, the luster came off him due to one full season and two halves in his first three years. As long as he can play... he can play. And Manitoba knows that.

Quincy Enuwa is not a WR1. But he might be a WR2, with sure hands, great volume, and YAC to spare. As long as he's healthy (he's currently questionable) he's a superb flex option- and would slot higher than that on most any other team. That the Grabbers line up Stefon Diggs, Juju Smith Schuster, and Alshon Jeffery before him is no stain on the offensive steal of the 16th round.

(Pour one out for Hill Valley's Tyler Eifert, RIP.)

ROUND 17:
DeSean Jackson has turned back time in September, playing as a WR1 in New York. His game, like the player himself, will always contain a level of volatility- but he's still, at nearly 32 years old, one of the league's fastest and most elusive receivers in the game. Are there any other every week offensive starters being selected this late? I don't think so.

ROUND 18:
TJ Yeldon was selected by Deputy as a handcuff in the late rounds, and Leonard Fournette's early struggles to stay healthy have already made the pick look prophetic. To his credit, Yeldon, once fairly well touted himself, has done better with this season's opportunities than he ever had shown before, earning a role regardless of Lenny's legs.

ROUND 19:
Austin Ekeler was selected by Deputy as a handcuff in the late rounds, and his electric play in support of starter Melvin Gordon has already made the pick look prophetic. Look- barring a shift to outright platoon (which diminishes the Van Halen's upside a bit) their investment in handcuffs has them pretty well covered at both RB slots in fourteen of sixteen weeks of potential pigskin, while only hogging four roster spots. SMART!

ROUND 20:
Anthony Hitchens has not dominated yet, ranking as linebacker #30 and seeing his numbers steadily dwindle. Doesn't matter, don't pay attention to that. South Parks' Hitchens is not a name brand, but he's an every down linebacker that has produced throughout his career when given the opportunity. Think Preston Brown or Joe Schobert, this is a LB2 while everyone else is picking kickers. (Note, I realize no kickers were drafted in round 20. But they might as well have been.)

ROUND 21:
Back to back value picks by the Cows, Geronimo Allison might be the last offensive player who has already made a major difference in the travails of the team that drafted him this season. The 24th ranked WR has put up double digits every week, and while a concussion threatens to snap that streak at four, South Park's ability to capitalize on end of draft value is approaching legendary status.

ROUND 22:
A twofer in the penultimate round, Orgrimmar's selection of John Johnson III (formerly of Fred Tee and the Johnsons) was an inspired selection, as he's delivered top four numbers through four weeks. Ice on the pavement is very dangerous, but this team plays on turf.

Another South Park Cow, Demarcus Lawrence, sneaks in as an end of draft pass rushing dynamo. Is the league's vast big blue conspiracy to blame for the aversion to the Lone Star edge rusher? Who knows. South Park pounced on the opportunity, and Lawrence has pounced on a quarterback every week since, grading as the #2 DL (behind only the peerless Khalil Mack) and scoring 1.0, 1.0, .5, and 3.0 sacks to date. Good job.

ROUND 23:
Man what a choice James Conner was by the HCM Lead Farmers, one slot ahead of Mr Irrelevant. The first month's sixth rated running back passed up by nearly every team, twenty two times in a row? WOW. Except, right after the draft, despite his stock creeping upwards as Le'Veon Bell's status grew more and more questionable, the Lead Farmers dropped their pick, and the McFlys registered an early contender for waiver claim of the year. Yikes.






Wednesday, October 3, 2018

TRADE 7: Pride & Prejudice

Pawnee and Mar-A-Lago have swung a deal! Each team addresses an immediate need on their roster, while MAL also grabs a prospect in the swap.

PAWNEE ACQUIRES WR JORDY NELSON
MAR-A-LAGO ACQUIRES TE VANCE McDONALD & RB RONALD JONES II


Pawnee's wide receiver situation was dire in September; In their WR2, WR3, and flex slots, they mustered only one double digit performer in twelve tries. Old friend Jordy Nelson is coming off a pair of impressive performances and immediately becomes their second best weapon, after Jarvis Landry. At 33 years old, Jordy is a veteran but not quite washed up, and making the most of an increased target share. As long as he can stay healthy, he'll be in the lineup every week the rest of the way.

For the Grabbers, Nelson was the fifth most talented receiver in a league starts four. While the depth might have been helpful the team had more immediate needs and acted deftly to fill a hole at tight end. Evan Engram might be out a month, and after dropping two in a row to fall to 2-2, America's Team saw a worthy investment in rising star Vance McDonald. The smashmouth tight end shook off a preseason injury and has seen five targets in three straight games, catching 3, 4, and 5 of them as he shakes off the rust. Increased volume may be in the cards for a player who boasts YAC and red zone opportunities in his portfolio; His stock is trending up.

A player who hasn't been trending up is Ronald Jones II, a talented rookie who has look lost on the field to date. Still, standout skillsets usually get play, and coming out of his bye week Jones may being his quest to usurp handcuff Peyton Barber's role. Buying low could pay off in spades down the road, and as a throw-in a team could do much worse.

Tuesday, October 2, 2018

X: Week Four Results

The standings got closer this week, but the point totals went through the roof. The 300 point threshold, which withstood two different 299+ point totals in the past two years has officially been overcome: the Deputy Van Halens crest to three straight overpowering wins, surging to a 305.43 total that could have been even more stupendous: Playing TJ Yeldon over Leonard Fournette and Anthony Walker over Matt Milano would have meant 343.53. BUT WE'RE DONT PLAY HYPOTHETICAL GAMES. The subplot here was the South Philly Rum Ham putting up a tremendous score of their own in a losing effort; New York, Binghamton, and Orgrimmar put up huge numbers and won this week, but none would have bested the Rum Ham. On the heels of losing the Baseball Championship Series in seven games, it's been a heart breaking week for their stupid city.

So! As initially alluded to, we've got four 3-1 teams, four 1-3 teams, and six 2-2 squads stuck in the middle after a month of play. We've got nine more weeks of this stuff before the playoffs, but early positioning can really dictate end game rosters, so lets take a look:

SCOREBOARD:

Week 4 Matchups


POWER OUTPUT:

  1. DVH 305: POWER LEVEL OVER 300! The 821 points scored by the Van Halens over the past three weeks is the most by any team over a three week period in LB history.
  2. RUM 263: This feels unfair. Philly's seen 96 more points against than their nearest competitor- and they've had 265.04 more PA than the highly fortuitous Moosecrew.
  3. NYF 262: A big week for everyone except newcomer Jordan Howard who dipped to 4.2 in his Finest debut. This would be called firing on all cylinders if it were race cars instead of football.
  4. BIN 248: The Snipers took a monstrous early lead and then never ceded any ground. If we go back and listed to all the pundits declaring Jared Goff a bust they would sound SO DUMB.
  5. ORG 241: The Horde have quietly resumed being exactly who they were half a decade ago when we saw them last: A highly efficient powerhouse. They might be looking to buy at WR.
  6. SPC 229: This is why there have never been any undefeated teams in Larkspur Bowl History. Because everyone does their job well, and you just run into somebody a little bit hotter.
  7. PHX 222: Accounting for the bulk of the season's trades to date, the Uprising offensive carousel barely got a chance to get to know each other before beating their LBX opponent.
  8. PAW 202: The Pride were the last team to join us on the left side of the standings, but their young team appears to be rounding into competitive form now.
  9. HVM 202: The McFly's depth will be tested as they suffered several injuries, none more impactful and grotesque than Tyler Eifert losing a foot. PS Le'Veon Bell says he will play!
  10. MMC 188: In a week where multiple high scorers lost, the Moosecrew were the low winner, and have banked 3 wins in the first month despite a so-so display on the field. 
  11. BKB 182: The Killa-Beez tread water in September and now Mark Ingram enters the lineup. Fitz-Magic show is over, but the QB market is saturated with quality streaming options.
  12. SAV 178: Mounting injuries on offense and a disappearing secondary have dropped the Petes into last place as we enter October. With excess talented WRs, could we see a move soon?
  13. MAL 174: The Grabbers fall from grace after surprising everyone in the early weeks has been more about points left on the bench than any dearth of talent. Alshon Jeffery is back btw!
  14. HCM 174: Just a rough week for last year's runner up, who got the bare minimum from their linebackers while also seeing their premier offensive weapons held in check.
TEAM OF THE WEEK:

Monday, October 1, 2018

TRADE 6: Swapping Scat

It's a historic week in the Larkspur Bowl, as we've seen a team surge past 300, with a good chance to hold the number through stat corrections- but that's for tomorrow's recap. Today, we have an exchange of benched running backs before week four results are finalized.

NEW YORK ACQUIRES RB BILAL POWELL
PHOENIX ACQUIRES RB KENYAN DRAKE

For the Finest this was the last straw for their third round pick. Drafted 38th overall and expected to pair off in the backfield with Christian McCaffrey, Drake has seen his touches dwindle from 17 to 15 to 7 to 4 over the course of the season's first month. It was enough to prompt the Finest to acquire Jordan Howard and Gio Bernard, and now the team finishes overhauling its running backs. Bilal Powell has shown a penchant for big games, a dual threat running back that rarely gets a full workload but often makes the most of his opportunities. His point totals for the first month (9.1, 19.4, 9.6, 8.3) showcase a decent floor and a nice ceiling, perfect for a bye week filler or injury substitute. With McCaffrey coming off his bye, Powell offers reliable depth in the other spot moving forward.

The Uprising know Kenyan Drake well; He was a key member of their championship run last season. While his usage numbers have to be concerning, his recent track record indicates he should still be capable of performing at a high level at some point this season. Phoenix has overhauled its roster over the course of the season's first month; Powell and Tevin Coleman started the teams' first three games. Both are gone now. Instead, Carlos Hyde, Aaron Jones, Derrick Henry, and Drake move into October as the team's running back options going forward.