Tuesday, September 1, 2015

Squad Medalists

Nearly half of the Larkspur Bowl participants convened at Steven's Bridal Party Beer Olympics this past weekend, and with all quiet on the trade front, it got me thinking about who I would award preemptive medals to at each position. These rankings are speculative and subjective, and account mostly for initial startability and current context- the best laid plans, as it goes.



QUARTERBACK
GOLDEN: Toronto LTP

SILVER: New York's Finest
BRONZE: Savannah Petes

Explanation: While Savannah and New York both invested first round picks in their QBs (Andrew Luck and Aaron Rodgers, the top two players on the board) Toronto nabbed Drew Brees and Tom Brady in the third and seventh, respectively. Even with the golden boy's pending 'deflategate' suspension, it's hard to argue there is a team better set behind center. It's a sunk roster spot, but there's no better trade chip or insurance policy at the most important position in the league.

RUNNINGBACK
GOLDEN: Liberal HT

SILVER: HCM City Lead Farmers
BRONZE: Revis Islanders

Explanation: Head Trauma has four running backs that could be starting on any team: Eddie Lacy is their obvious feature back, and Lamar Miller a perfect compliment. They bought low on injured Arian Foster and CJ Spiller, who are as dynamic a duo as their first pair, should they return to health. The Lead Farmers may have reached a little for Demarco Murray, who by all accounts won't see a sequel to last year's workload in a new offense, but adding obvious rookie of the year candidate Melvin Gordon in the third gives them two workhorse types. Adding Jonathan Stewart in the ninth round gives them a third in a masterstroke... if he can stay healthy. The Islanders did a good job picking their spots, supplementing Marshawn Lynch with fellow bruisers Chris Ivory and LaGarrette Blount- all three should see plenty of bellcow totes, and are prototypical touchdown mavens.

WIDE RECEIVER
GOLDEN: Pawnee Pride

SILVER: South Park Cows
BRONZE: Hill Valley McFlys

Explanation: Pawnee took Odell Beckham third overall, making him the crown jewel of their receiving corps, the finest in all the land: Mike Evans joins him on the other side, and with Emmanuel Sanders in the slot, the Pride boast an XYZ arsenal the rest of the league should envy. Except maybe South Park- Julio Jones is just about as incredible as Beckham, and far more proven, while Brandin Cooks and Jarvis Landry should see over a hundred targets each while possessing game breaking tools on every touch. The McFlys don't have quite as much upside or as distinctive a number one guy, but Alshon Jeffery, TY Hilton, and Jeremy Maclin give them split, slot, and flanker, the highest baseline entering week one.

TIGHT END & FLEX
GOLDEN: Phoenix Uprising

SILVER: Liberal HT
BRONZE: Manitoba MooseCrew

Explanation: The Uprising's GRONK should pace tight ends in all statistics, assuming he can stay healthy all season, while their flex options are rookie burner Breshad Perriman or veteran Michael Crabtree looking to return to high end WR2 status. Liberal's TE Travis Kelce might be the best pure playmaker at the position, while Victor Cruz gives tremendous upside at the flex spot, if he is truly ready to play. The MooseCrew have Jimmy Graham as a stretch tight end, and Jason Witten as an in-line option, with darkhorse rookie DaVante Parker waiting in the wings to flex. South Park and New York both have incredible depth at the WR position, with top tier flex options that would start for most other teams (Josh Brown and Kendall Wright follow up the silver tier starters for the Cows, while the Finest have up and comers Jordan Matthews, DaVante Adams, and Martavis Bryant supplemented by quality veterans Steve Smith and Eric Decker) but question marks at TE kept them out of the equation here.

DEFENSE
GOLDEN: Phoenix Uprising

SILVER: Saskatoon Sasquatch
BRONZE: Revis Islanders

Explanation: JJ Watt was the first ever defensive player picked in the first round, and with good reason: He scored 91 more points than the next defensive player at ANY position, and 136 more points than the next defensive player at his position. He has led his team to the Larkspur Bowl finals in each of the past three years, and he shows no sign of stopping. He's simply the biggest difference maker in league history, and barring injury, will continue to wreck havoc. If JJ Watt didn't exist and the Uprising had to field a mere mortal at DL, they might still have the best defense in the league. The Sasquatch snagged LB Lavonte David in the fifth round, and surrounded him with talent; Jason McCourty's injury is a setback, but assuming he can come back healthy, he might lead the best overall secondary in the league. The Islanders have a trio of linebackers (Posluszny, Dansby, and Tulloch) returning from injury addled seasons- but if all three can remain healthy, they should pile up incredible tackle numbers: that is a roving gang of monster backs.



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