Week 5 Matchups
The Kevin Bowl went to the wire, as Saskatoon fought back all the way til the end, but Phoenix managed to hang on for the W. The Uprising are now 2-1 in games decided by single digits, their penchant for nail biters fortuitous thus far. This matchup did see early returns on a trade between these two teams, with the Sasquatch bending the needle their way: WR Brian Quick erupted for 23.2 points, while the Uprising only got 8.4 and an injury in RB Zac Stacy's first trial in orange. CB Cortez Allen had a great performance for the brown team, despite the loss.
New York finally had the good kind of luck, holding off the Turbanators and working their way to a manageable 2-3. Indiana had been flying high, but their defense and running game both had lackluster showings in week five; Peyton Manning and Steven Jackson led the charge for the Finest, like fine wines or 70's rock. I don't know what that means- Manning is getting better? Steven Jackson still rumbles?
Oh Canada won big, trouncing the woeful Pacers and flirting with the 200 point plateau. At 3-2, Toronto is riding DeMarco Murray to contention- he's been an absolute stud, so the only concern has to be durability. LB Bobby Wagner was stout in the middle, earning defensive MVP honors. Pawnee started hot, with Julius Peppers looking sleek and svelte, but their production went hot wheels to tire fire real quick. Megatron's bum wheel has undermined this team in back to back weeks, they need him healthy, or they need to replace him. Head Coach Pacey Jones is on the hot seat.
There was a short time on Monday night where it looked like the Massacre might inch out the most improbable of victories, but then the McFlys dispelled that rumor with authority. Hill Valley has not managed to put together back to back wins yet, but once they get going they should resume their regular role as a title contender. DeSean Jackson hammered the final nail in the coffin for OT- but with a major trade last night, the Massacre will have a chance to punch out of their shallow 2-3 grave with Antonio Gates lining up at TE the rest of the way.
It was sort of pathetic, but a win is a win; The Cali Swag managed to be the 12th ranked team in week five, but Oakwood was thirteenth, so it was enough. Tom Brady returned from the brink to marshall the 2012 champs, and Alshon Jeffrey remains unstoppable. For the Drivers, their RB situation (Peterson out indefinitely, Moreno injured) has hamstrung their bench, so with WR Eric Decker literally hamstrung, they had no viable alternatives. I mean, Jeremy Kerley, but.. come on.
If you thought the Cows were a fluke, and were waiting for the facade to slip, and were holding your breath until it happened, you have suffocated and died. South Park broke 200 pts again (with ease!) and is nearly fifty points better than its nearest competitor through five weeks. I just did the math and... wait. Carry the three... pointer, middle, ring, pinkie... yes! They are averaging almost ten points a week more than Toronto and Phoenix. JJ Watt was quiet, while Andre Ellington's big day, and Paul Posluszny's big neck could not bridge the gap for M-Ville.
HCM City was facing a fellow bottom feeder in Manitoba, and had a chance to finally break the goose egg. Alas- no delicious omelette breakfast this morning for the Lead Farmers who fall to 0-5. It is hard to discern what the problem is: They have two stud RBs in Leveon Bell and Eddie Lacy, a top 5 TE in G-Reg, and a solid defense, but they just have not been able to put it together. They'll need to go on a monumental winning streak to sniff the playoffs. The MooseCrew won again, and attained a franchise QB going forward, flipping their TE depth for Russell Wilson; Don't count them out- Week five MVP Demaryius Thomas looks healthy now.
WEEK FIVE OFFENSIVE MVP:
WR Demaryius Thomas, Manitoba MooseCrew - 41.6pts
WEEK FIVE DEFENSIVE MVP:
LB Bobby Wagner, Toronto LTP - 22.0pts
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