III: Larkspur Bowl 2011

The Larkspur Bowl's third year saw the departure of three original teams (Oklahoma City, Rochester, and Wieterville) and two one and done squads (San Francisco, Cherry Hill) and the ascendance of a third major power, the Hill Valley McFlys, who at 10-3 were the league's best regular season team. Behind them was defending champion Phoenix, and lurking at the one seed, LBI champ Orgrimmar. The Horde toppled Hill Valley in the semis, while Phoenix squeaked by the AF Nation on a controversial last minute play. So, the top two powers to date met in LBIII, with the Uprising winning their second championship in a row.

DRAFT RESULTS

STANDINGS:

BRACKET:

• Aug 9 11:18am: Welcome to the 2011 Larkspur Bowl!

THE DRAFT IS TENTATIVELY SCHEDULED FOR
SUNDAY, SEPTEMBER 4th AT 12:45 PM
(due to whining.)

Here are this year's managers and (current) team names:

Returning Teams: Team Manager (Last Year's Finish)
- The Fighting 54's: Kevin Grimes (1st)
- Los Bastardos: Nick Stano (3rd)
- Lev Grossman: Pete Persampieri (4th)
- Run to the Hillis: Mike Verrino (5th)
- kibbles and vick: Kevin Stabe (6th)
- NY Finest: Tom Grimes (8th)
- Arian Foster Nation: Vincent Milillo (9th)
- Knee Deep: Steve Grimes (11th)
- Pacey Jones Army: Pete Allegretta (13th)

And our new challengers! Make sure to look over our league settings before the draft.
- vehicular stallworth: Shayne Lisa
- Santonio's Stash: Ben Tishelman
- Fighting the 54's: John Vicinanza
- CLAY MATion: Hugo Robinson
- (YET UNNAMED): Steven Perez

And a fond farewell to our departures:
- Team Ugly: Last year you accidentally picked a third string running back in the first round, Mark Sanchez for being the cutest in the second round, and several kickers in a row middraft. I tried to give you a chance to redeem yourself this year in baseball, and you are 70 games out with three weeks left. Weakest Link Jackie.
- edwards: I ran your team last year, and very nearly (and accidentally) made the playoffs with it, despite never using waiver claims and only making essential moves. I love you Kamara, but you are not cut out for the rigors of fantasy football. Cheers!
- Wieterville Wieters: Mears, your draft strategy of picking almost all Ravens almost worked out for you, despite missing out on both Rays. If you had performed a little more roster maintenance, perhaps you could have snuck into the playoffs. But after two years of minimal emotional involvement, it is time to move on. It's not me, it's you.
- STR8HUSTLIN': Marty you are one of my dearest friends, and I will truly miss your draft day enthuthiasm. But in each of the past two years, that was the high point of your season, as you were just too busy to keep up with your team afterwards. Bon voyage amigo!
- Bob Kalsu Fan Club: You don't deserve to leave, as one of the most consistent managers the larspur bowl has known. But you are a stranger, and we felt like going with people we know. Besides, I had to root out my only true competitor. Fare thee well, sir.

• Sep 4 7:26pm: RIVALRY BOWLS

"Politically Incorrect on Ice Bowl"
Arian Nation vs Tigris & Euphrates
-Two rink coworkers battle on Irene-ravaged, power outed, drippity droppity frozen tundra. One wears a white hood, the other a turban. Loser is fired.

"Totally a Gay Porno Bowl"
My Vick in a Box vs Santonio's Stash
-Two Mville alumni battle it out with overtly suggestive team names. Who will come on top? (Loser is bottom.)

"Confused Compass Bowl"
Yo Adrian I Did It! vs LOS BASTARDOS
-It is East Side vs West Side on North Brewster Road in the town of Southeast. Yeah. That is actually an accurate depiction, check Google Maps. Loser has to flash the other side's gang sign... on facebook. OG.

"Plaid Skirt Bowl"
Fighting the 54's vs Kent Green Machine
-Kennedy Catholic apparently has schoolboys, too. And they apparently DON'T wear skirts. WTF? Loser puts on a skirt. No one has to witness this.

"The Peter-Off II Bowl"
Lev Grossman vs Pacey Jones Army
-Preston vs Pacey. Winner gets to reclaim their god-given name, Peter. Loser is stuck with their pseudonym.

"The Jeep (is upside down) Bowl"
kibbles and vick vs Knee Deep
-Cowboy hats will topple when these two good ol' boys battle it out upside down at like 4am. Loser cannot listen to country music for the day.

"Father-Son Bonding Bowl"
The Fighting 54's vs NY Finest
-This matchup will be our first conflict in twenty four years!! Loser gets a hug from the winner!!

• Sep 21 8:29pm: WEEK TWO: POWER RANKINGS

Two weeks down men, and plenty of season left. It is too soon
to draw any definitive conclusions, but we can examine how it stands after two weeks; The two 1-1 teams are at opposite ends of the spectrum, the Bastards suffering some tough luck despite being the far and away leading scorer; John's team has a split record, despite being the penultimate squad on the power rankings. Otherwise, the scoring reads almost straight down, with the other five teams breaking the 300 mark following the Bastard's near four hundo, on the strength of an incredible recieving corps. Knee Deep has roared into first in the standings with a very good starting lineup, although a lack of depth might hurt them when the bye weeks start. The Stash have barely been challenged in their first two games, as opponents haven't even mustered 200 points, but the team's success is clearly tied directly to the health of Mike Vick. Adrian has played two nail biters, both being decided on Monday night; The team has no obvious weaknesses. The Carousel had four of it's seven offensive starters change from week one to two, and continues to spin with the matchups. The Arian Nation has gotten off to a strong start, despite the absence of it's eponymous lottery pick- due to some superb last minute sleeper pickups. The team has the depth to wait for Foster to get healthy. The AJ's have the look of a contender, despite an 0-2 start- they boast the two highest scoring QBs in the league, although they can only play one. They place just ahead of the last 2-0 team, Pacey Jones' Army who moved their backup QB to get Wes Welker, who gave them the impact WR they need. After that comes the run of teams that have yet to win a game: Kibbles defensive attrition has left them without a viable third option at WR. The Green team from Kent has an explosive group of wideouts, but it's running backs have really disappointed so far, and the team has had the misfortune of getting blasted by the most points in the league; Another healthy defensive lineman could really help. The Finest from NY really need their boy Elisha to start putting up big numbers; If he clicks, this team has huge potential, but they need to put one on the left side before they dig themselves another hole. The Box lost a tight one at the buzzer last week- they have the pieces, but neither SJax nor DeAngelo have gotten it going in the featured back role yet this season. The Fighters have been bitten hardest by the injury imp, with first round pick Jamaal already on IR, and two thirds of their WRs Dez and Colston hobbled, along with starting safety LaRon Landry, who has yet to play a game. Lev's Scorched Earth squad is in dead last, but have begun to address their injury and depth problems on defense and WR. Eleven games remain on the docket, with week three a pivotal tone setter, and as the gridlock in the standings disperses, we'll start to see teams seperate and establish themselves before bye weeks begin to test the depth and resolve of team managers... time to seperate the contenders from the pretenders. Cheers!

POWER RANKINGS
1. LOS BASTARDOS 398.96 (1-1)
2. Knee Deep 348.71 (2-0)
3. Santonio's Stash 328.81 (2-0)
4. Yo Adrian I Did It! 327.56 (2-0)
5. The Carousel of Doom 317.50 (2-0)
6. Arian Foster Nation 317.42 (2-0)
7. AJ of green 298.68 (0-2)
8. Pacey Jones Army 289.86 (2-0)
9. kibbles and vick 284.99 (0-2)
10. Kent Green Machine 273.50 (0-2)
11. NY Finest 271.52 (0-2)
12. My Vick in a Box 269.65 (0-2)
13. Fighting the 54's 227.34 (1-1)
14. Lev Grossman 192.38 (0-2)

• Sep 29 6:07pm: WEEK THREE: POWER RANKINGS

The bad luck continues for the Bastards, who despite leading the league in points by a comfortable margin, see themselves off playoff pace- both numbers are hurt by leaving points on the bench, but that depth will be a boon with the influx of bye week absences rolling in. Aftewards come all that is right in the world- all four 3-0 teams claim their spot at the top of the power rankings. The Carousel went full tilt in the 4pm games to blow past Pacey's early lead, and Knee Deep waltzed past the Bastard's early stake during MNF. The Nation's defense had a number of playmakers, which has carried it to it's perfect record; Big defensive numbers are known to be less accountable, but even a retread to the mean should be balanced out by the return of Arian this week. The Doers cruised to victory this week after starting the season with two nailbiters- they face the two Petes in back to back weeks now. Next up comes another unlucky team- The AJs have had top six output, but it has not been enough to get a tic on the win column. Facing the Bastards this week, someone's rotten lot will have to change. Kibbles has faced adversity, seeing the second most points scored against, which has dwarfed their own solid output, but at least they scored their first win. On the flip side, The Stash have seen the second least points against, which accounts for the difference in record, despite the minimal disparity on the scoreboard, but have now taken their first loss. Pacey Jones took one, WHAP, right in the kisser, dropping their first game, which heads off a rough stretch of five straight games against teams in the top half of the league scoring. The Box won it's first game on the spry legs of Darren Sproles and some solid defensive output. Kent has had a rough start to the season, and losing it's best playmaker in Kenny Britt hurts it even more. The Finest have had rough luck in putting their best squad on the field, and may struggle with depth concerns going into bye season, but perhaps their luck will turn when the byes determine each week's starters. The Fighters have gone into a tailspin since pulling out their first game, and I blame the team's Red Socks... it just wasn't a good month for that color hosiery. After that you drop down through fifty feet of crap and there are Lev's flaming Dragons, who somehow celebrated a victory, despite their utter lack of scoring. They have been fortuitous, seeing the least points against thus far, but were unable to capitalize on the soft schedule- perhaps a victory here will get the team in gear.

POWER RANKINGS
(1) 7. LOS BASTARDOS 1-2-0 .333 554.56 477.05 L-1
(2) 1. The Carousel of Doom 3-0-0 1.000 515.28 379.81 W-3
(3) 2. Knee Deep 3-0-0 1.000 510.86 455.54 W-3
(4) 3. Arian Foster Nation 3-0-0 1.000 496.88 390.20 W-3
(5) 4. Yo Adrian I Did It! 3-0-0 1.000 493.58 444.04 W-3
(6) 12. A.J of green 0-3-0 .000 458.69 482.69 L-3
(7) 8. kibbles and vick 1-2-0 .333 446.07 504.53 W-1
(8) 5. Santonio's Stash 2-1-0 .667 440.28 363.90 L-1
(9) 6. Pacey Jones Army 2-1-0 .667 437.43 432.66 L-1
(10)9. My Vick in a Box 1-2-0 .333 402.53 437.56 W-1
(11)13. Kent Green Machine 0-3-0 .000 381.73 526.04 L-3
(12)14. NY Finest 0-3-0 .000 370.08 472.21 L-3
(13)10. Fighting the 54's 1-2-0 .333 348.03 451.66 L-2
(14)11. Lev Grossman 1-2-0 .333 306.76 344.87 W-1

• Oct 6 7:33pm: WEEK FIVE, RIVALRIES STRIKE BACK

The Environmentalist Bowl
AJ of Green vs Kent Green Machine
Both teams compete to see who can reduce the most carbon monoxide emissions. Winner smokes the bowl. Dank.

The Hockey Bowl
LOS BASTARDOS vs Pacey Jones Army
Both teams sit at 2-2 so if there is a tie, we'll remove a guy for five minutes, then just play a novelty skills game instead, eh?

The Dinner Bowl
Knee Deep vs NY Finest
A father and a son sharing a house- the loser cooks dinner for the rest of the week. The stakes are steaks.

The Offensive Bowl
My Vick in a Box vs Arian Foster Nation
An animal murderer crossed with a sexually explicit parody, and a black athlete's name perverted to cross reference a militant white power organization. Neither team may play any defense.

The Hollywood Bowl
Lev Grossman vs Yo Adrian I Did It!
Two blockbuster references in one bowl game. The loser needs to film an impersonation of their character and post it on their opponents facebook wall. I am actually demanding that this happens, for real. Tag everyone.

The Hair Bowl
kibbles and vick vs Santonio's Stash
Both of these follicle filled monikers are hedging their hair on this matchup, with the loser to shave their head. There is no way this debt is ever collected though.

This made more sense a month ago Bowl
The Carousel of Doom vs Fighting the 54's
When this was The Fighting 54's vs Fighting the 54's this seemed like a killer matchup. Now one team has a new name and the second most points and the other has the least. Could John St John hang an upset on his former classmate!?

• Oct 12 7:51am: ENTERING WEEK 6: POWER RANKINGS

The Battery maintains their number one power ranking, and finally gets over the hump by stringing two wins together. With bye weeks in full swing, they'll have to rely on Drew Brees to keep them rolling on pure volume going forward. Adrian's Doer's became the last man standing, going to a perfect 5-0, and with no major byes on this week's docket, they seem primed to keep it up against the Green Bowl Champions. The Carousel slowed down this week without Andre, and were upset by the scrappy Fighters. The team will have to address the uneven and unpredictable nature of it's rotating parts if it wants to get going again this week against the formidable Stach. The Nation lost a tight one for it's first loss, as three of their offensive starters scored less than two points, which derailed Big Ben's 5 TDs. Knee Deep got back to business on Monday Night, utilizing their Stafford-Megatron connection for the coup-de-grace on his father. Kibbles snuck over .500 with it's third straight victory, making it the hottest responder in the league, mostly on the legs of their running game. But depth has to be concern, as weeks 7-8-9 will claim all of their already short bench of offensive players for a week at a time. Aj's Green team finally broke into the left side, as their bad luck couldn't possibly last forever... they will need it against the last remaining undefeated this week. The Stash lost after trading for their namesake, and shoot to get back to a .500 record and striking distance this week with their cast of intriguing misfits. Pacey lost again and is reeling, and now has to start (gulp) Curtis Painter. Vick in a Box won a tight one with the Arians and has been totally overhauled since the draft, so their current numbers are a bad gauge for their strength moving forward... they could be a real contender. Lev dropped another game, but probably won't realize it for another two weeks, so I guess we won't see his apple bottomed jeans on facebook after all. NY Finest lost again, but their offense has been shored up, and if they can sneak a few W's out of the bye weeks here, they could be primed to go on a cinderella stretch run. Fighting won ugly and I hate them, since I gave birth to that abberation, who then gave birth to Kent's monstrosity, which is uglier still... the gene pool got sparse, and catholic school raised them wrong. They don't care, they are waiting for pitchers and catchers to report. Neither team looks capable of four wins on the season, but either could stun a contender any given Sunday if a few of their guys have a big week at the same time.

POWER RANKINGS
(1)5. LOS BASTARDOS 3-2-0 .600 920.51 743.34 W-2
(2)1. Yo Adrian I Did It! 5-0-0 1.000 854.54 665.80 W-5
(3)2. The Carousel of Doom 4-1-0 .800 801.94 610.29 L-1
(4)3. Arian Foster Nation 4-1-0 .800 795.38 651.98 L-1
(5)4. Knee Deep 4-1-0 .800 738.81 707.41 W-1
(6)6. kibbles and vick 3-2-0 .600 728.22 749.44 W-3
(7)12. A.J of green 1-4-0 .200 722.72 757.01 W-1
(8)7. Santonio's Stash 2-3-0 .400 710.42 709.56 L-3
(9)8. Pacey Jones Army 2-3-0 .400 677.31 784.64 L-3
(10)9. My Vick in a Box 2-3-0 .400 653.41 718.14 W-1
(11)10. Lev Grossman 2-3-0 .400 610.47 653.55 L-1
(12)13. NY Finest 1-4-0 .200 604.40 687.70 W-1
(13)11. Fighting the 54's 2-3-0 .400 578.03 713.84 W-1
(14)14. Kent Green Machine 0-5-0 .000 563.49 806.95 L-5

• Oct 18 8:57pm: OH OH WE'RE HALFWAY THERE

The Battery of Bastards continues to show that some people are just unlucky, dropping back to .500 despite their power level being OVER NINE THOUSAND!! Sitting at 3-3 in the last playoff spot means that all but three teams are within one game of a playoff spot heading into the midpoint of the season. The undefeated teams both remain (barring late stat corrections) despite holding slim leads against unfavorable odds on successive. The Doer's held on while breaking into four digits on the back of Fred Jackson, who has to be the favorite for Larkspur Bowl MVP going into the season's midpoint. The Carousel topped the scoreboard a week after getting upset by the Imposter 54's, using it's sixth RB combination in six weeks. I did not actually research if that carries any significance, or if plenty of other teams have had the same amount of rotation. WHATEVER. The Arian Nation burned a crucifix on the Bastard's fifty yard line this week with a solid all around effort in a tight matchup to shine on, crazy diamond. Knee Deep put down Lev Grossman and kept pace with the other favored horses, at just shy of 900 points on the year. AJ Green's sad tale of squandered brilliance continues, as they drop to 1-5; their opponents have averaged 165 points a game against his 150 in the five losses, which included back to back 161-160 losses in weeks two and three... that kind of heartbreak is damning, it seems. Kibbles remains on a four game bender, but currently does not have an active RB or TE for week 7 against the battery. The Stash were on the receiving end of the Toyota Biggest Blowout award this week, failing to reach triple digits, with only four players north of nine points on the week. The Pacey Jones Army has matched the Stash's four game drought, and maintained a measure of respectability thanks only to Corey Webster's big game. Vick in a Box, coming off their demoralizing stat adjusted loss last week, lost again against the upstart Fighters, who they had beaten in the Larkspur Baseball Series Championship. NY Finest won it's second game of the season but will have to find a sub at running back this week against the Doer's. Maybe he will get one from Knee Deep, to continue their collusive father-son player swapping!? Lev Grossman's offense came to life this week in defeat, but needs a second running back in the wake of Blount's injury. Fighting gets to .500 despite the cynics, having siphoned off all of AJ Green's luck, and some of the Bastard's too. Kent Green Machine's Tony Romo era started the same way, with a loss. Maybe next week buddy.

POWER RANKINGS
(1)6. LOS BASTARDOS 3-3-0 .500 1059.63 881.74 L-1
(2)1. Yo Adrian I Did It! 6-0-0 1.000 1005.84 811.04 W-6
(3)3. The Carousel of Doom 5-1-0 .833 952.42 705.47 W-1
(4)2. Arian Foster Nation 6-0-0 1.000 936.78 787.03 W-6
(5)4. Knee Deep 5-1-0 .833 895.43 832.28 W-2
(6)12. A.J of green 1-5-0 .167 870.96 906.31 L-1
(7)5. kibbles and vick 4-2-0 .667 869.37 855.29 W-4
(8)8. Santonio's Stash 2-4-0 .333 804.60 863.04 L-4
(9)9. Pacey Jones Army 2-4-0 .333 784.16 924.79 L-4
(10)13. My Vick in a Box 1-5-0 .167 758.18 869.40 L-3
(11)10. NY Finest 2-4-0 .333 746.08 813.49 W-1
(12)11. Lev Grossman 2-4-0 .333 735.34 809.17 L-2
(13)7. Fighting the 54's 3-3-0 .500 726.29 820.68 W-2
(14)14. Kent Green Machine 0-6-0 .000 686.28 951.63 L-6

• Oct 25 8:50pm: ENTERING WEEK 8 (Over the hump power rankings)

The Power Rankings have continued to even themselves out, as the top five scorers are also the top five in the standings. #1 LOS ANOMALY secured a victory with a huge Sunday Night performance from their fearless leader, Drew Brees; They are unfortunate to be only 4-3 despite their monster point total- now they need some good luck, with tough byes to deal with in weeks 8,9, and 11- I think they need to win at least three of the next four games to solidify their playoff positioning. The #2 Doers and the #3 Nation are going into the Thunderdome this weekend, as two undefeated teams will enter, but only one shall leave unscarred. Both have a key offensive cog on the bye this week (Jennings/Forte) and the game might be decided on who is able to plug that hole better. The #4 Carousel suffered another blow this week when the Box unleashed upon them, but at 5-2, they still control their own destiny. They face #5 Knee Deep in the heavyweight undercard to the aforementioned main event. The Carousel has a lot of holes to fill, without an active QB or DB on their roster, while Knee Deep is only short a kicker, barring a Matt Stafford setback- Whoever wins will be primed to make a run at a playoff bye. #6 AJ of Green got their second win and thus vaulted up the standings, as the highest scoring of six 2-5 teams. Among the mass, they and the #8 Box have the best shot at shooting the gap and sneaking into the playoffs, despite being two games back of the first team OUT. Both teams have explosive weapons and have suffered through some bad luck, but both have winnable schedules and the potential to run the table. They straddle #7's Kibbler, who squandered a great opportunity to put some ground between them and the back end of the playoffs this week, but just need to get back to winning to keep pace. Among the other 2-5's, the #9 Stash and #10 Army both continued their downward spiral, now at five straight losses. Both squads have suffered bouts of injuries and ineffectiveness since their 2-0 starts; Four of the Stash's top six picks have missed time with injury leaving his team on the fringe. Pacey's two top picks have underperformed, they traded their third and fourth picks for Wes Welker (lone bright spot) and their fifth pick was relegated to a backup role after week one. NY Finest have left a lot of their finest performers on the bench, utilizing their optimal lineup in both of their wins, and only one of their five losses, where they had no alternatives... at least two double digit point scorers have been left on the bench in the other four losses, causing the question "What if?" Fighting the 54's inexplicable win streak keeps them in the conversation for the playoffs; This same damn thing happened for John in our Baseball Series, I cannot even explain it, they have been outscored on the season, and just drew the lucky straw when schedules got picked, I guess. I keep calling them a pretender, but they keep Tebowing my expectations and putting up W's they might linger as a spoiler. Lev Grossman's week 4 score of 200.08 is the second highest all year and a serious outlier; The team has averaged half of that in their other six games. Kent's imperfect season continues, and you have to wonder if they are more likely to go winless, or if the winner of Arian vs Adrian has a better chance to go undefeated.

POWER RANKINGS
(#1)5. LOS BASTARDOS 4-3-0 .571 1206.83 1001.09 W-1
(#2)1. Yo Adrian I Did It! 7-0-0 1.000 1151.38 916.20 W-7
(#3)2. Arian Foster Nation 7-0-0 1.000 1112.72 880.85 W-7
(#4)4. The Carousel of Doom 5-2-0 .714 1068.26 897.27 L-1
(#5)3. Knee Deep 6-1-0 .857 1053.15 919.12 W-3
(#6)8. A.J of green 2-5-0 .286 1004.52 1026.55 W-1
(#7)6. kibbles and vick 4-3-0 .571 988.14 1002.49 L-1
(#8)9. My Vick in a Box 2-5-0 .286 953.68 985.00 W-1
(#9)10. Santonio's Stash 2-5-0 .286 924.84 996.84 L-5
(#10)11. Pacey Jones Army 2-5-0 .286 871.00 1081.93 L-5
(#11)12. NY Finest 2-5-0 .286 851.24 959.03 L-1
(#12)7. Fighting the 54's 4-3-0 .571 843.95 900.19 W-3
(#13)13. Lev Grossman 2-5-0 .286 811.15 926.83 L-3
(#14)14. Kent Green Machine 0-7-0 .000 780.10 1127.57 L-7

• Nov 2 1:35pm: Week 9 is RIVALRY WEEK! 

Power Rankings first though. Rivalry postings tomorrow.
The #1 Battery maintained it's lofty perch with a big win over the upstart Boxers, despite Drew Brees' quiet day and the big points in the weekend headliner: The #2 Doers maintained perfection in a game that lived up to expectations, a high scoring shootout that went to the wire with the #3 Nation. At the end of the day, making the playoffs is the key, and barring a major injury, these are your favorites in the big dance. The #4 Carousel was doomed by it's decision to start John Beck over Colt McCoy, losing a nail biter to DeMarcus Ware and the #5 Deepness, who have a clear shot for a first round bye with week 11 circled on their calender. #6 AJ of Green has the power, but will need to run the table and hope one of the 5-3 teams takes a tumble, because it will take a total nose dive and a glass slipper to sneak in... 8-5 might be good enough, but 7-6 is unlikely. #7 Kibbles holds the two game advantage on the last spot, and will be at full strength the rest of the season- if Matt Ryan can kick it up a notch in the driver's seat, this team can assure itself a berth. #8 Boxers suffered a loss that hurts their playoff chances, but it has a chance to take down AJ Green with them this week, which would drastically undercut the drama down the rest of the way. The #9 Stash put up solid points but couldn't reverse the trend against the #10 Finest, who break into the four digits with their highest score of the season. #11 Pacey Jones Army scored less than 90 points for the second straight week, and salvation is nowhere in sight. #12 Fighting nearly kept the low octane magic working against the Kibbler, except for LeSean McCoy... they drop to 4-4 and face four of the top six scorers down the stretch. #13 Lev Grossman stinks, but is still better than #14 Kent Green Machine, but at least they got into the win column. And are still greater than Tim Tebow.

POWER RANKINGS
(1)4. LOS BASTARDOS 5-3-0 .625 1366.79 1119.50 W-2
(2)1. Yo Adrian I Did It! 8-0-0 1.000 1333.18 1094.50 W-8
(3)2. Arian Foster Nation 7-1-0 .875 1287.42 1062.65 L-1
(4)5. The Carousel Doom5-3-0 .625 1210.68 1041.48 L-2
(5)3. Knee Deep 7-1-0 .875 1202.36 1061.54 W-4
(6)8. A.J of green 3-5-0 .375 1187.94 1126.85 W-2
(7)6. kibbles and vick 5-3-0 .625 1112.48 1111.32 W-1
(8)10. My Vick in a Box 2-6-0 .250 1067.09 1144.96 L-1
(9)11. Santonio's Stash 2-6-0 .250 1064.05 1147.90 L-6
(10)9. NY Finest 3-5-0 .375 1006.30 1098.24 W-1
(11)12. Pacey Jones Army 2-6-0 .250 959.19 1207.01 L-6
(12)7. Fighting the 54's 4-4-0 .500 952.78 1024.53 L-1
(13)13. Lev Grossman 2-6-0 .250 911.45 1110.25 L-4
(14)14. Kent Green Machine 1-7-0 .125 905.18 1216.16 W-1

• Nov 9 4:07pm: ENTERING WEEK X; RANKINGS OF POWER

Nobody is perfect. The last of the undefeated teams fell this week, but really have nothing to complain about- the #1 Bastards hold a twenty point advantage, but a three win deficit, and everyone knows which number is more precious. The Battery fell again to spectacular misfortune, and while the Finest dropped a 171 point bomb on them out of nowhere, the real culprit was their first real lousy score of the season at 113. It happens. It happened to the #2 Doers as well, who scored a middling 127 against the week's big number, so they never really had a chance to push it to nine wins. Even so, they have seen the emergence of another potential top 10 option at RB in Murray, which gives them depth to cover an injury with down the stretch. At #3, The Nation returned to their winning ways, squeaking out a win against the Army, who provided a surprising amount of meddle before being doomed by not going Beast Mode. Both squads should feast upon the bottom feeders this week and keep their top spots barring a serious upset. At #4 the Carousel scored big points to end a two game skid, but will need to answer depth questions at WR, with their top two guy's health being very intermittent. No one wants to face #5 Green right now: They have the longest current win streak, and have catapaulted up the power rankings: this week they go for .500 against their fellow Cinderella; It's going to strike midnight on the loser, while the victor will be just outside the playoff picture- this is the surefire game of the week, truly pivotal with just a month left before the playoffs. #6 Knee Deep just barely missed cracking 1300 points this week- The Lions didn't play after all, and thus, they landed in the loss column for just the second time. #7 Kibbles won again, and has managed to ride out their bye weeks while maintaining a 2:1 win ratio- but the health of Ahmad Bradshaw, or whomever is going to slot in at RB2, is essential going forward. #8 Stashers cannot stop the bleeding, with two of their skill positions dropping goose eggs in week nine. #9 Finest played their best ball of the year, getting eight TDs- they need to keep chugging north of 150 if they want to sneak into the dance's back door. #10 Pacey has got to be demoralized, after rallying to almost but not quite upset the one loss nation. Aw shucks. #12 Fighting is a filthy abberation, winning for a fifth time despite all statistical evidence exposing them as frauds. WTF? #13 Kent has climbed out of the cellar with two straight wins, while #14 Lev made it into four digits, at the very least. My bold prediction for week ten: One of these bottom feeders will knock off one of the top dogs this week. Because that is our maddening game. Cheers!

POWER RANKINGS
(1)6. LOS BASTARDOS 5-4-0 .556 1479.91 1290.90 L-1
(2)1. Yo Adrian I Did It! 8-1-0 .889 1460.94 1286.96 L-1
(3)2. Arian Foster Nation 8-1-0 .889 1444.32 1205.71 W-1
(4)4. The Carousel Doom6-3-0 .667 1402.14 1169.24 W-1
(5)8. A.J of green 4-5-0 .444 1331.18 1256.83 W-3
(6)3. Knee Deep 7-2-0 .778 1299.67 1179.43 L-1
(7)5. kibbles and vick 6-3-0 .667 1255.71 1235.17 W-2
(8)10. My Vick in a Box 2-7-0 .222 1194.57 1291.20 L-2
(9)11. Santonio's Stash 2-7-0 .222 1182.00 1285.46 L-7
(10)9. NY Finest 4-5-0 .444 1177.70 1211.36 W-2
(11)12. Pacey Jones Army 2-7-0 .222 1102.25 1363.91 L-7
(12)7. Fighting the 54's 5-4-0 .556 1071.67 1116.84 W-1
(13)13. Kent Green Machine 2-7-0 .222 1042.74 1334.11 W-2
(14)14. Lev Grossman 2-7-0 .222 1037.80 1255.48 L-5

• Nov 15 8:41pm: THE LAST OF THE BYES; WEEK 11 POWER RANKINGS

The #1 Battery has been leading this thing since they had two scores to add together, and despite their middling record, their juggernaut powers are due to peak come playoff time. Both former Goliaths dropped their second game this week, with the #2 Nation being dropped by a huge effort from Lev and #3 Doers getting inched out by the surprise Grossmens, and in the process, losing their only rostered QB for the season. Crisis mode has to be in full effect for Adrian, who has dropped two and has a glaring hole behind center after looking utterly dominant for the first two months of the season. The Nation has to feel better about their team, who look very deep and very potent. The #4 Carousel, Nation, and Doers are all within five points of each other, and are vitural locks for the playoffs. #5 AJ started off in a four game hole, and has gone 5-1 since, and currently four in a row... the contenders have to be hoping that they finish short of a playoff bid. #6 Deepness has spent it's points smartly, scoring the same record as the best teams in the division but the Stafford injury has to be a concern, along with the Lions three game skid in productivity. #7 Kibbles lost a tough one this week, and finds themselves on the hot seat, clinging to a one game lead for the last playoff spot, although I don't expect Stabe to sweat it, based on his decisive vote against expanding the playoffs. #8 Houston Spoiler has had truly awful luck this year, despite putting together a very explosive team through trades; He won't have much chance to play spoiler through the rest of the regular season, facing three teams worse than .500, but has a great chance to save face in the consolation bracket if he can scoot up to the top twelve. The #9 Finest experienced a setback to it's already dim playoff chances, but could still end up with it's head above water if it can close out with three straight wins- although, all three teams are currently above them in power ranking. The #10 Pacey Jones Army finally got off the rocks, scoring a decisive win with rookie Demarcus Murray; If they can spin a QB off to the desperate Adrian or questionable Knees for a quality RB or WR, they could make a run at winning the consolation bracket and regaining some respectability. #11 San Antonio was not as lucky, falling to eight straight losses, setting the Larkspur Bowl record for futility, despite outscoring the #12 Fighters, who were kept at bay in the playoff race by Pacey's remarkable second ranked output in week 10. I predicted that a peon would upset a king, and both did, with #13 Lev and #14 Kent topping their opposites, despite already being out of the playoff race... just goes to show, that it truly anyone can win on any given Sunday. This week marks the last of the bye weeks, and the thinning of the herd with the playoffs coming up. Friday is the trade deadline- any trade will be allowed as long as it is objectively fair; This is not a money league, and therefor the consolation bowl is as much about respect as the championship- just far less of it. Cheers!

POWER RANKINGS
(1)5. LOS BASTARDOS 6-4-0 .600 1635.72 1375.72 W-1
(2)1. Arian Foster Nation 8-2-0 .800 1585.88 1371.96 L-1
(3)2. Yo Adrian I Did It! 8-2-0 .800 1583.42 1418.46 L-2
(4)4. The Carousel of Doom 7-3-0 .700 1581.17 1333.96 W-2
(5)7. A.J of green 5-5-0 .500 1488.92 1349.61 W-4
(6)3. Knee Deep 8-2-0 .800 1429.53 1261.26 W-1
(7)6. kibbles and vick 6-4-0 .600 1420.43 1409.20 L-1
(8)13. Houston Spoiler 2-8-0 .200 1276.40 1424.06 L-3
(9)9. NY Finest 4-6-0 .400 1270.48 1369.10 L-1
(10)10. Pacey Jones Army 3-7-0 .300 1270.13 1505.95 W-1
(11)14. Santonio's Stash 2-8-0 .200 1266.82 1441.27 L-8
(12)8. Fighting the 54's 5-5-0 .500 1213.71 1281.72 L-1
(13)11. Lev Grossman 3-7-0 .300 1204.05 1397.04 W-1
(14)12. Kent Green Machine 3-7-0 .300 1169.24 1456.59 W-3

• Nov 23 2:00am: WEEK XII: POWER RANKINGS:

The #1 Rivercity Bastards were upended again this week, as they continue to struggle to get the W's in the air despite their output- there are seven teams with a realistic chance at the playoffs with two weeks left in the regular season; Someone is going to be edged out... The Carousel climbed back up to #2 when it delivered the Nation it's third loss in four weeks, while the #3 Doers became the first squad to clinch their playoff berth, edging out the deepness on Monday Night, but will have to deal with it's growing pile of injuries as the tournament looms. The #4 Nation has had a rough month after knowing only perfection for the better part of the first two, but is still in prime position- even in it's three losses, it averaged a score of 146, and all of their main pieces remain intact, and if he needs something extra, he can always Tebow. #5 AJ Green wants to ruin somebody's postseason, and dropping DOOM in the penultimate matchup between the two hottest teams in the league may be mandatory to that end... all eyes will be on that game this week. #6 Kibbles scored a boon to their own playoff chances with the win, but they will have to look to the waiver wire to solve their issue at RB2 to stake a claim. #7 Knee Deep could have claimed the top spot in the rankings with a victory this week, but tumbles to four overall due to the weakest overall score in the hunt- he needs to get two slashes on his lwft side tally to assure a spot. Below sea level we have the #8 Houston Spoilers who were felled by truly awful luck this year: Running the table in the consolation bracket could deliver them some of the respect they deserve. #9 NY Finest played their best ball of the season and couldn't overcome Houston, ending their glimmer of hope. Pacey Jones #10 Army has shown a lot of moxie lately, after overhauling their team and baring some mean teeth... the consolation bracket should be just as intriguing as the big dance. #11 Santonio's stash's sad slippery slope sustained: Nine in a row. #12 Lovely Grossman has doubled his wins in the past two weeks, as Pete woke up from football hibernation just a bit too late. #13 Fighting's days of defying the odds seem over- he faces two teams form the 1700 point plateau to end the season, and he holds just a fractional edge over #14 Kent Green Machine, who had a respectable effort but came up short of four in a row.

POWER RANKINGS
(1)6. TROUBLE IN RIVERCITY 6-5-0 .545 1766.58 1520.15 L-1
(2)2. The Carousel of Doom 8-3-0 .727 1727.98 1456.72 W-3
(3)*1. Yo Adrian I Did It! 9-2-0 .818 1713.57 1538.39 W-1
(4)3. Arian Foster Nation 8-3-0 .727 1708.64 1518.77 L-2
(5)7. A.J of green 6-5-0 .545 1645.53 1430.55 W-5
(6)5. kibbles and vick 7-4-0 .636 1572.95 1533.98 W-1
(7)4. Knee Deep 8-3-0 .727 1548.96 1391.41 L-1
------------------------------------------------
(8)12. Houston Spoiler 3-8-0 .273 1464.60 1591.17 W-1
(9)9. NY Finest 4-7-0 .364 1437.59 1557.30 L-2
(10)10. Pacey Jones Army 4-7-0 .364 1411.23 1620.92 W-2
(11)14. Santonio's Stash 2-9-0 .182 1381.79 1582.37 L-9
(12)11. Lev Grossman 4-7-0 .364 1348.48 1527.90 W-2
(13)8. Fighting the 54's 5-6-0 .455 1294.65 1438.33 L-2
(14)13. Kent Green Machine 3-8-0 .273 1294.52 1609.11 L-1

• Nov 30 1:26am: PENULTIMATE RANKINGS

This week's power rankings will be a little bit different. We've got just one game before the playoffs, so we're going to look at teams for what they have been, rather than what they could have been. I've broken the league into tiers based on their win total and their postseason plans:
The top tier consists of one team: The Doers. With a win against the Stash this week, Adrian's team will have the best regular season record in the three years that we have used the 14 team format. They got there on the backs of late greats like Matt Schaub and Fred Jackson, and even their namesake is hurting, but they have secured a first round bye as well as the respect of the league: Whatever happens in the playoffs, three months of shrewd managing have put Mike Verrino's team in the driver's seat, as they have shown time and time again that they will overcome and get the W.

POWER RANKINGS
*1.(2) Yo Adrian I Did It! 10-2-0 .833 1863.29 1687.78 W-2
---
The second tier consists of the 8 win teams, all of whom lost this past week. Each squad has it's main pieces in place for the stretch, and controls their own destiny- win and in. Carousel and the Nation will be dueling for the second bye- if one wins and one loses, the winner will clinch it (barring a 300 point game from Knee Deep) and have a brief respite from the pressure cooker. The Carousel has a moderate advantage in the tiebreaker (a 27 point lead) but the far stiffer caboose opponent. Both teams should be going all out to gain the week off. Knee Deep has an interesting matchup, in that a win will clinch a spot, but a loss coupled with all three of the seven win teams scoring a victory will probably make it the odd team out. It faces the Larkspur Bowl's cellar dweller, but if it takes them lightly, it could be in for the rudest awakening.
2.(3) The Carousel of Doom 8-4-0 .667 1847.66 1606.04 L-1
3.(4) Arian Foster Nation 8-4-0 .667 1820.46 1637.89 L-3
4.(7) Knee Deep 8-4-0 .667 1691.05 1535.39 L-2
---
Rivercity has been a victim of bad luck all year, outscoring it's opponents by a ridiculous three hundred points, and still scratching and biting for a spot in the dance. It will clinch with a win over the Carousel, or a loss by either AJ or kibbles. Both of the latter teams have defied odds- The Greens winning 7 out of 8 after a winless September; Kibbles only scoring a net gain of 33 points, the least of any of the contenders. But both have a chance in the final week to secure a spot in the playoffs, where all bets are off. Both are facing disappointed teams that have recovered to respectability lately, each with three wins in it's last five. Who wants it more?
5.(1) TROUBLE IN RIVERCITY 7-5-0 .583 1939.60 1640.59 W-1
6.(5) A.J of green 7-5-0 .583 1794.85 1550.23 W-6
7.(6) kibbles and vick 7-5-0 .583 1722.34 1688.70 L-1
---
Now we get to the teams that have been eliminated from contention, but will still play for the crooked championship, hoping for the #7 overall in the consolation bracket. NY Finest left a ton of points on the board this year, but has looked good lately, coming off a narrow win over a top team and looking to ruin kibbles playoff chances. The two Petes, Pacey and Lev, are both on three game winning streaks, and while it is too little too late, winning out would score an overall record of 9-7 on the year- Pacey could also play spoiler, while Lev plays the Spoilers. Fighting finally regressed, dropping three straight, but will play into the decision on the #2 slot, and has shown time and time again that they can break hearts.
8. NY Finest 5-7-0 .417 1556.71 1669.12 W-1
9. Pacey Jones Army 5-7-0 .417 1538.78 1742.09 W-3
10. Lev Grossman 5-7-0 .417 1484.94 1637.24 W-3
11. Fighting the 54's 5-7-0 .417 1415.09 1611.35 L-3
---
Houston was terribly unlucky this year despite a medley of expert moves, the Stash finally broke the worst losing streak in league history on the backs of all of the leagues underperformers, and Kent not only scored the least points, but it gave up the most points, a terrible tragedy of coincidence. None is truly as bad as it's three wins, but only one will have the opportunity to vindicate itself in the consolation bracket.
12. Houston Spoiler 3-9-0 .250 1585.77 1718.72 L-1
13. Santonio's Stash 3-9-0 .250 1530.77 1724.46 W-1
14. Kent Green Machine 3-9-0 .250 1403.86 1745.57 L-2

This week will be our final 'rivalry week' which may feature a score of bowl games, depending on how busy I am. Following the Monday night game, the ALL-LARKSPUR team will be announced, a roster of the leagues top 21 scorers, filling a starting lineup and five bench slots, and including at least one representative from each of the fourteen teams. Cheers!

• Dec 6 9:15pm: GETTING ON THE SHIP

Now that the playoffs are finalized (barring a last minute stat correction) I am going to break the final power rankings down by tier. Over the course of a thirteen week season, most irregularities worked their way out: The top five scoring teams all took playoff slots, while the seventh squad took the sixth slot due to variance. The first number in the standings is the team's standing differential, which is the difference between the next two numbers. I could probably make a proper table... but I am not going to. ALRIGHT GO:

POWER RANKINGS
---2,000
-4:(1)*5. TROUBLE IN RIVERCITY 7-6-0 .538 2095.03 1803.73 L-1
+0:(2)*2.The Carousel of Doom 9-4-0 .692 2011.42 1761.47 W-1
---1,900
+2:(3)*1. Yo Adrian I Did It! 10-3-0 .769 1998.05 1823.08 L-1
+1(4)*3 Arian Foster Nation 9-4-0 .692 1960.65 1751.31 W-1
-1(5)*6. The Great Sandusky 7-6-0 .538 1933.74 1692.48 L-1
---1,800
-1(6)7. kibbles and vick 7-6-0 .538 1859.62 1826.38 L-2
+3(7)*4. Knee Deep 8-5-0 .615 1822.87 1691.95 L-3
---1,700
-4(8)12. Houston Spoiler 4-9-0 .308 1764.04 1814.82 W-1
---1,600
+1(9)8. NY Finest 6-7-0 .462 1694.39 1806.40 W-2
-1(10)9. Pacey Jones Army 6-7-0 .462 1680.03 1880.98 W-4
-2(11)13. Santonio's Stash 4-9-0 .308 1666.07 1859.22 W-2
---1,500
-2(12)14. Kent Green Machine 4-9-0 .308 1560.42 1877.39 W-1
+3(13)10. Lev Grossman 5-8-0 .385 1582.04 1815.51 L-1
+3(14)11. Fighting the 54's 5-8-0 .385 1527.89 1751.54 L-4

UNLUCKY TEAMS:
The HOUSTON SPOILERS, who despite scoring the eighth most points, were only able to translate that into four wins and the twelve slot, a four place differential. Equally unlucky was RIVERCITY, who scored the most points but landed in the fifth slot, another four place differential. Both will have the opportunity to accelerate their final standing in the playoffs, as Houston took the final consolation seed, and can correct all the way up to seventh overall, while the Bastards still have the opportunity to claim the crown. SANTONIO'S STASH and KENT GREEN MACHINE both had a negative differential of two slots as well, albeit, remaining in the league's bottom third, but not earning consolation bids. Finally, while KIBBLES AND VICK only had a negative one slot differential, that poor luck kept them out of the playoffs, despite a winning record.

LUCKY TEAMS:
KNEE DEEP was the league's luckiest team, benefiting from a plus three differential that brought eight wins and a playoff berth. Also benefiting from good fortune were LEV GROSSMAN and FIGHTING THE 54'S, the league's worst two teams, who both finished in the consolation bracket, and three slots higher than they properly deserved. Also benefiting from good juju was the league's number one seed, YO ADRIAN I DID IT! who slotted in two places higher than their score, bringing them a playoff bye week.

WHAT LUCK?
The CAROUSEL OF DOOM was the only team to have no differential, scoring the second most points, and finishing in second place overall. ARIAN FOSTER NATION and NY FINEST had a little bit of luck, scoring a plus one on their bottom line. THE GREAT SANDUSKY's great rise up the standing nearly equalized their poor early luck, leaving them only at a negative one differential, with the aforementioned kibbles, and the PACEY JONES ARMY. Obviously, the luck we are talking about is what was scored- leaving points on the bench was a completely different kind of luck that is far more heartbreaking and far less exonerating. Sorry dudes!
Tomorrow I will release the ALL-LARKSPUR TEAM, the STEAL-OF-THE-DRAFT TEAM and the various award winners for the regular season. Get stoked!!

• Dec 8 1:11am: THE ALL LARKSPUR TEAM

This year's team is composed of the twenty one players that proved most vital to their team's success- they scored the most points. All fourteen teams are represented, in true all star fashion:

----------------STARTERS-------------------
QB: Rodgers, Carousel of Doom (296.46)
WR: Welker, Yo Adrian I Did It! (185.15)
WR: C. Johnson, Knee Deep (184.20)
WR: Cruz, Kent Green Machine (155.20)
RB: McCoy, kibbles and vick (222.10)
RB: Rice, NY Finest (207.34)
TE: Gronkowski, Pacey Jones Army (181.28)
PK: Akers, The Great Sandusky (139.00)
DB: Woodson, The Great Sandusky (161.28)
DB: Webb, Lev Grossman (158.55)
DL: Allen, TROUBLE IN RIVERCITY! (193.50)
DL: Pierre-Paul, Arian Foster Nation (153.00)
LB: Ware, Knee Deep (169.00)
LB: Willis, Carousel of Doom (166.50)
LB: Suggs, Santonio's Stash (160.95)
----------------BENCH-----------------------
QB: Brees, TROUBLE IN RIVERCITY! (260.44)
QB: Newton, Houston Spoiler (251.38)
WR: Wallace, Arian Foster Nation (152.30)
RB: Foster, Arian Foster Nation (198.60)
RB: Jones-Drew, Knee Deep (173.40)
TE: Graham, Fighting the 54's (156.65)
--------------------------------------------------
Players that performed at an elite level but just missed the cut:

QB Brady, WR S. Smith, WR Jennings, WR J. Nelson, WR V. Jackson, WR Harvin, RB Forte, RB F. Jackson, RB Sproles, RB Peterson, K Bailey, DB P. Peterson, DB K. Arrington, DB Tillman, DB J. McCourty, DL C. Campbell, LB D. Jackson, LB V. Miller, LB Laurinitis, LB Fletcher.