Ohio defeats South Park

The Cows cannot catch a break.

After losing on review in week one, and by six points in week two, they are now 0-3 on the season, dropping to 13th place, with five of the six teams ahead of them in the standings behind them in points. Ohio are the benefactors this time, surging to 2-1 and fourth place just ahead of Week Four's kickoff.

The Cows lost half a point on a missed tackled by KJ Wright, while Ohio ended up going up by .3, making this a .8 point swing. Losses by Tommy Boys' Von Miller, Marcus Williams, and Joe Mixon were nullified by the contributions of Harrison Smith and Khalil Mack.

OTB 232.89 OVER SPC 232.39

South Park faces the high scoring Mar-A-Lago Grabbers in week four, desperate to get (and keep) a victory. Ohio faces the bottom feeding South Philly Rum Ham, who happy company in the winless bracket for at least a few days.

Trade 3: Injuries Mounting

We've got a blockbuster deal, with the league's top overall pick (after suffering a high ankle sprain) on the move.

PHOENIX ACQUIRES: RB SAQUON BARKLEY, WR JARVIS LANDRY & TE GREG OLSEN
NEW YORK ACQUIRES: RB TODD GURLEY, WR MIKE WILLIAMS & WR DEMARCUS ROBINSON

Saquon's injury will likely keep him out four to eight weeks, and New York decided not to gamble, moving the super talented back for former workhorse Todd Gurley. Gurley's load has been lightened in the early going, though he's shown much of the same tenaciousness that has made him a marquee playmaker the past four years. The Finest might be content to see him settle in as a RB2, or they may expect him to ramp up to RB1 status- either is preferable for the immediate future. Along with Gurley, the Finest upgrade their WR corps with Mike Williams (traded for the second time in two weeks) and Demarcus Robinson, who followed up his monster week two with a respectable sequel in week three.

Past Saquon, who should not be expected to return until he is 100% healthy, the Uprising add elder statesman Greg Olsen to solve their woes at tight end. Olsen has seen heavy targets through three weeks, though at 34 years old and coming off a pair of injury shortened seasons, how long he can withstand the intensity of the pro game is uncertain. After losing Hunter Henry in week one, and seeing Jimmy Graham post a couple of empty box scores since, Phoenix had to make a move. New York was compelled to sell high due to the presence of a younger, more explosive weapon named Darren Waller on their roster.

Meanwhile, while Mike Williams has the skillset and measurables of a number one receiver and the billing of a number two, Jarvis Landry is slot receiver with a penchant for YAC that has aquiesced to a lesser role this year. For two players with strikingly different games, they were drafted in the same neighborhood, with Williams at 44 and Jarvis at 56. Sources say this third player was the sticking point in negotiations, with the deal being arrived at when these names were exchanged.

Phoenix is tripling down on its early season injuries- having already shed Cam Newton, they have Saquon joining AJ Green on the uncertain timetable list, while Melvin Gordon holds out and Darius Leonard remains in concussion protocol, now on the shelf over a week; Meanwhile waiver claim Tevin Coleman is suffering from an ankle malady of his own. The Uprising, at 1-2 and 13th in overall points, are betting on themselves to survive the early season with a chance to claim a playoff spot late. Bold strategy Cotton!

XI: Week Three Recap

There's just one team left at the top of the mountain, the defending champion McFlys, now perfect at 3-0. There's been some good fortune for Hill Valley, having won on review and only ranking fifth in overall points- but where it matters most, they have delivered. On the opposite end of the spectrum, the South Philly Rum Ham drop to 0-3, a nightmare season threatening to spiral out of control early.

Between the two teams are a sea of 2-1 and 1-2 teams all looking to jostle for position in the early going: Those two wins team will fight to make September a winning month, while those one win teams need to focus on evening up their record in week four, then focusing on building upon it with the remaining nine weeks of the season.

OF NOTE: South Park and Ohio's battle was decided by less than a point, and could end up going either way pending stat corrections, which finalize on Thursday morning.

Week 3 Matchups

 

• Phoenix Uprising153.84Hill Valley McFlys224.55
  FinalRecap
• Binghamton Snipers221.07Deputy Van Halens173.84
  FinalRecap
• HoChiMinhLeadFarmers246.81South Philly Rum Ham153.81
  FinalRecap
• Tommy’s Boys231.99South Park Cows232.79
  FinalRecap
• Mar-a-Lago Grabbers213.96Savannah Petes257.52
  FinalRecap
• New York's Finest199.28Pawnee Pride181.50
  FinalRecap
• Carmel RudyTuesdays225.14NJ Sanitation Crew241.21
  FinalRecap

WEEK 3 POWER RANKINGS:

1. SAV 258: Keenan Allen stood out in this high scoring affair, but Savannah has looked all around great out of the gates to start the year.
2. HCM 247: After splitting a pair of forgettable performances, the Lead Farmers came out blazing in week three, decimating the woeful Rum Ham and surging over .500. 
3. JSC 241: The Crew did work in week three, from the unstoppable Mike Evans to the playmaking cornerback duo of White and Lattimore. 
4. SPC 233: The Cows are in the win column for the moment, but with less than a point margin of victory, could end up overturned again. It'd be a tough break for a good team.
5. OTB 232: Flipside, Ohio loses a heartbreaker for the moment. Denzel Ward's late breaking inactivity hurts them a ton; Playing Dak over Russell went poorly as well.
6. CRT 225: Carmel has looked good in the early going, but only has a single win to show for it, victims of the toughest schedule (724 PA to date) and it's not even close. ADVERSITY!
7. HVM 225: This one was never in doubt for the McFlys, who cruise despite leaving a ton of points on their bench; Fantastic depth at this juncture likely means an impending deal. 
8. BIN 221: Phillip Lindsay rumbles to a victory for Binghamton, who will look to pick off Hill Valley in a week four showdown between 2018 playoff teams. 
9. MAL 214: Despite the loss, the Grabbers performed well yet again and show every indication of contention this season with Patrick Mahomes at the helm.
10. NYF 199: Winning is nice, but losing Saquon Barkley for a month or two hurts: The longer estimate wouldn't have the All-World back until playoff time.
11. PAW 182: The Pride got a nice performance almost across the board, but letdowns from Baker Mayfield and Cameron Wake prevented them from making a game of it.
12. DVH 174: The Van Halen swoon continues, staying in the cellar of these rankings while dropping a second game. The offense is good! The defense is terrible!
13. PHX 154: A pathetic showing by Phoenix, who invested a lot of draft capital in players who do not play. A second straight zero from Jimmy Graham warrants legitimate criticism.
14. PRH 154: South Philly made it up to 12 last week before lapsing into the bottom rung on the ladder- although playing Taylor Gabriel would have made it respectable, at least.

WEEK 3 TEAM-OF-THE-WEEK:

• QB Patrick Mahomes MAL (30.76) Another week, another 300+ yards and 3 TDs from Mahomes, who benefits from Russell on the bench and Danny Dimes on the wire. 
• RB Alvin Kamara SAV (35.6) Rebounding from a quiet week two, the beast with the nose ring was his typical highlight reel self in the Petes victory with 161 yards, 2 TDs.
• WR Mike Evans JSC (49.1) Illness hindered him early this season, but on the third Sunday our lord and savior Mike Evans ascended to his glory most high, 190 yards and 3 TDs.
• TE Evan Engram SAV (24.5) Engram showcased all that elite potential that has had him sitting just below the cream of the crop at a barren position the last few years. 113 & TD.
• DL Calais Campbell HCM (31.5) The Lead Farmers' patience paid off in spades here, where the 6'8"behemoth took over the game, scoring three sacks and seven tackles.
• LB Jamie Collins CRT (26.5) Collins continues to be a one man wrecking crew, just an utterly disruptive force all over the field. 7 tackles, 3 TFL, 2 sacks... yes, he's all the way back.
• CB Donte Jackson BIN (29.75) Two picks, two flicks, and five tackles the Snipers' 19th pick follows up two solid performances with a fantastic one. 
• SS Vonn Bell HVM (24.15) With Hasean Clinton-Dix on the wire, Bell is the pick here- scoring 9 total tackles, a PD, and a fumble returned for a TD he was a difference maker.
• K Mason Crosby HVM (10.00) A pair of forty yard field goals and a trio of PATs seal the award for Crosby in a quiet week for kickers. 

B-DIVISION POWER RANKINGS:

1. NITTANY LIONS 806.40 (+275.66)
2. MANITOBA MOOSECREW 757.18 (+304.08)
3. BREWTANG KILLA BEEZ 712.44 (+245.02)
4. TORONTO LES TRES PETITES 624.16 (+267.24)

Trade 2: DEEBO

Moments after the bombshell that Antonio Brown was jobless once again, under mounting controversy, the Grabbers washed their hands of the troubled wideout.

PAWNEE ACQUIRES WR ANTONIO BROWN
MAR-A-LAGO ACQUIRES WR DEEBO SAMUEL

The Grabbers weathered the initial Storm with Brown and were rewarded with a 15.4 outing last week. Had they made the decision to deal him shortly thereafter, they'd surely have reaped a greater reward. With his value plummeting (odds are, Brown doesn't play another down this season) the Grabbers did well for themselves, adding an electric rookie that actually outscored Brown in week two. Deebo Samuel is unlikely to be a weekly contributor, but with a substantial role and room for target growth, he's more than worthy of a roster spot, and weekly volatility is preferential to a black hole.

For Pawnee this is a massive swing for the fences- unlikely to connect, though stranger things have happened. Should AB get his name cleared, he it's certainly plausible that another team would take a chance one of the most talented receivers on planet Earth, regardless of his increasingly apparent unhinged persona. Short term it means the Pride expect Alshon Jeffery to suit up on Sunday, as the team has no other substitute on the roster until Golden Tate returns from suspension in week five. It's a risk/reward scenario that the championship or bust franchise feels confident it can stomach. Time will tell!

Carmel defeats New York

Upon further review, all three new franchises DID get their first victory in week two, as Carmel-By-The-Sea takes down New York's Finest on stat corrections, the second time in two weeks to start this season.

Budda Baker saw his score net -4, with Derrick Henry making up a tenth of a point, sinking New York by 3.9. Meanwhile, the Rudy-Twos got a +4 swing from Joey Bosa and a +2 from Steve Nelson and Jamie Collins combined, negating half of the -3 attributed to Thomas Davis. All in all, this was nearly a seven point turnaround in a matchup original decided by less than three.

CRT 225.22 over NYF 221.18

This brings both teams to 1-1 on the year, dropping the Finest to fourth in the standings, with the Rudy-Twos nestled right in behind them at fifth.

Trade 1: Prognostications & Realizations

The first deal of 2019 went down in the wee hours, with the Rum Ham pulling the trigger on a deal that seeks to invigorate a wounded and sputtering roster before it's too late. Likeiwse, the Uprising stumbled out of the gate, but have banked a win since, giving them an opportunity to move depth.

PHOENIX ACQUIRES WR MIKE WILLIAMS

PHILADELPHIA ACQUIRES WR CHRIS CONLEY & CB RONALD DARBY

Mike Williams was drafted in the fourth round to be Tyreek Hill's sidekick, but Hill went down early in week one, while Williams has been limited by injury early this season- and often through his young career. His upside is huge (he's shown flashes of being a WR1) but the consistency has been lacking and South Philly needed something more bankable.

Chris Conley was always a serviceable but under-utilized receiver in years past; New season, new situation, and through two weeks he's broken out with steady targets, yardage, and a touchdown. The ceiling is considerably lower, but Conley figures to be have a reliable floor that should help stabilize the team's bottom line. Despite much lower projections, Conley's point totals have dwarfed Williams both weeks, and he's not the only addition that's done double digit work through two appearances. Cornerback Ronald Darby is also joining the Rum Ham, following a pair of quality performances to start the year. Darby was a top rookie in 2015 with the Saskatoon Sasquatch but after an impressive start to his career he has been limited by injuries these past few seasons- fully healthy, he could provide reliable production at a tough position to fill, helping South Philly plug a talent gap elsewhere. If Darby returns to his positional supremacy it would mean a points windfall.

The Uprising will lean on Williams right away, with Corey Davis and DeVante Adams both struggling in the early season. The longterm plan is to pair AJ Green with Julio Jones, but Green has been adamant that he will not return to the field until he's 100%, which is looking like October, earliest. 

XI: Week Two Recap

Week two saw four teams put the fires out, four teams see fires spring up, three teams remain perfect, and three that have none. The Grabbers have for the second consecutive year taken pole position out of the gate with a tremendous point total; Also at the top are a pair of former champions, New York and the the winner in two of the past three years, Hill Valley.

We saw two new franchises get their first notch in the win column, as Ohio and New Jersey nail down victories. Carmel remains winless in two tries, though not due to lack of effort- they've put together a pair of quality games in vain, with this last one still within reach on potential stat corrections. If things stand, they sit at the bottom alongside South Park, a former champion that has also been "in" both games, losing upon further review last week, then by single digits this time around. The final winless team is South Philly, who gets no silver lining to date, but can point to injuries for its lackluster start.

Injuries! Injuries have played a major role in the early going, such is life in professional football. The stove has been cold in the weeks since the draft, but as attrition is tested and inactives mount, we're likely to see teams start swapping their excesses for their requisites. Keep working those phones, sending out offers, and churning those rosters.

Week 2 Matchups

 

• Phoenix Uprising197.57Deputy Van Halens171.76
  FinalRecap
• Binghamton Snipers149.12NJ Sanitation Crew192.22
  FinalRecap
• Hill Valley McFlys222.01South Philly Rum Ham168.45
  FinalRecap
• HoChiMinhLeadFarmers192.02South Park Cows184.87
  FinalRecap
• Tommy’s Boys234.86Savannah Petes198.32
  FinalRecap
• Mar-a-Lago Grabbers234.72Pawnee Pride156.90
  FinalRecap
• New York's Finest222.08Carmel RudyTuesdays219.22
  FinalRecap

Week 2 Power Rankings

1. OTB 235: Myles Garrett is blossoming into the league's most disruptive force in his third season, helping Ohio showcase a balance attack and a deep bench.
2. MAL 235: Patrick Mahomes appears to be unstoppable- the Grabbers won't be in many low scoring affairs this year. Of all people, JJ Watt has been the team's achilles heel so far.
3. NYF 222: Should New York hold on to this one, it will extend the team's winning streak to 7 dating back to last year. A lot of weapons in that offense, plus the league's best safety duo.
4. HVM 222: The champs have the elite talent and quality depth that bodes well long term- for injuries, and for upgrading the starting lineup by trading to fill other team's vacancies.
5. CRT 219: A rough one to drop, Carmel's defense was exceptional, but if the loss stands they can look at their inconsistent receiving corps (outside the ageless Larry Fitz) for the reason why.
6. SAV 198: Good enough to win is not always good enough to win, and outside a couple of volatile positions, the Petes made all the right calls and lost; This could end up Kamara's worst game.
7. PHX 198: Big plays helped the Uprising bounce back, notably Stephon Gilmore's pick six and Julio Jones 54 yard clinching TD. Refs blew dead what should have been a Cam Jordan TD as well.
8. JSC 192: Jerz gets their first win, and looks to have a valuable weapon in sophomore TE Mark Andrews; He's been stellar at the offense's most talent bereft position.
9. HCM 192: Despite their jumbo package totaling 1.2 points between them, the Lead Farmers get a W on good defense, exquisite running from Aaron Jones, and a big Golladay.
10. SPC 185: The Cows go from 1-0 to 0-2 in less than a week, Travis Kelce and the Defense unable to makeup for a mostly ho-hum offensive gameplan. 
11. DVH 172: The Van Halens saw their secondary scoring hit while their primary weapons slumped and their defense, outside of Zach Cunningham, snoozed heavily. 
12. PRH 168: Matt Ryan, Leveon Bell, and Cory Littleton are the only three players on the team to score more than 10.5 points in each of the first two weeks, leaving this team talent deficient. 
13. PAW 157: Pawnee's deep bench didn't help them here, as the team left at least 35 optimal points on the sideline. (Not like they would have won anyway.)
14. BIN 149: A truly putrid effort by the defensive 'playmakers' and little from the RB, TE, and Flex position lands these guys at the bottom of the barrel in week two. 

Week 2 Team-of-the-Week

• QB Patrick Mahomes MAL (35.82) He took the foot off the pedal in the second half, or there could have been some serious carnage. Justifying the first round pick, quickly.
• RB Dalvin Cook HVM (33.5) The talent has never been in question, just the durability- if he stays healthy he's a steal, even as the 15th overall pick.
• WR Julio Jones PHX (30.8) Julio's touchdown woes are far in the rearview, along with the players that were assigned to cover him. 
• TE Mark Andrews JSC (23.5) It's only been a few weeks, but being nabbed in the 20th round puts Andrew in the early conversation for most valuable pick in the draft. 
• DL Myles Garrett OTB (23.5) Garrett looks unstoppable in the early going, great news for the Ohio defense; OTB is quickly making a name for themselves as talent evaluators.
• LB Jamie Collins CRT (38.7) If there was any question about Collins being all the way back, it is answered. He's all the way back, as dynamic a force as can be on defense.
• CB Stephon Gilmore PHX (25.7) A physical presence and an elite coverman, Gilmore will make plays whenever you go near him. He thrives on your desperation. 
• SS Harrison Smith OTB (20.0) A fast start for a legendary playmaker, Smith's role in this defense should keep him from laying those isolation goose eggs he has fallen victim to in the past. 
• K Justin Tucker MAL (13.5) Renaissance man with power, accuracy, and vision. Good week.

B-Division Power Rankings

1. NITTANY LIONS 531.24 (+291.62)
2. BREWTANG KILLA BEEZ 464.42 (+216.31)
3. MANITOBA MOOSECREW 454.10 (+198.72)
4. TORONTO LTP 356.92 (+181.04)

Hill Valley defeats South Park

One week, one stat correction overruling!

Upon further review South Park ended up -4 while Hill Valley received a +4.5 boon.
Dee Ford's clutch pass deflection was the major difference between victory and defeat.

HVM 205.72 over SPC 204.32

It's a triumph for the defending champions, who keep the good times rolling, while for South Park it brings an improbable losing streak to five games in a row; 2018's top seed lost their final two regular season games, then lost in the semifinals following the bye, then lost in the bronze medal game.

(Preston Brown was on the South Park bench and did not impact the final tally.)

XI: Week One Recap

Another wild week one in the Larkspur Bowl continuity, as we see half the league start off well, and the other half's prognostications turn prematurely dire. Without any separation plausible until week two, lets celebrate the winners, admonish the losers, get some kneejerk takes, and also review knee jerks, tweaks, sprains, and tears. Also the collarbone, week one's injury du jour!

Week 1 Matchups

 

• Phoenix Uprising166.34Binghamton Snipers185.21
  FinalRecap
• Deputy Van Halens214.45South Philly Rum Ham160.59
  FinalRecap
• Hill Valley McFlys201.22South Park Cows205.30
  FinalRecap
• HoChiMinhLeadFarmers162.54Savannah Petes258.92
  FinalRecap
• Tommy’s Boys183.14Pawnee Pride227.20
  FinalRecap
• Mar-a-Lago Grabbers263.72Carmel RudyTuesdays195.00
  FinalRecap
• New York's Finest232.76NJ Sanitation Crew201.92
  FinalRecap

Week 1 Power Rankings

1. MAL 264: After the Antonio Brown kerfuffle, the Grabbers shine and have reinforcements on the way, with the plausibility of zapping Gronkenstein back to life still scary. That said, Lago has recent history of fast starts and poor ends, so lets not award them the chalice just yet.
2. SAV 259: The Petes came out firing on nearly ever cylinder, with ever aspect of the offense clicking, and the defense look formidable as well. Old Man Rivers can still steer the ship so it seems, lending credence to the 'never reach for a quarterback unless it's Pat Mahomes' theory.
3. NYF 233: The last time New York got the first overall pick was 2014, and things went well for them that season. That was also the only time they drafted 1st overall, before netting Saquon Barkley this year and aiming to prove the trend twice over.
4. PAW 227: Reeling after another Larkspur Bowl appearance ended in futility, the Pride have recollected themselves admirably and get off to a great start on their efforts to find that third time charm. Low profile RBs Austin Ekeler and Marlon Mack did a great job to that end.
5. DVH 214: Surging late, the Van Halens rode fourth quarter performances from DeShaun, DeAndre, and Tyrell Williams to a season opening rout of the Rum Ham. After missing last year's playoffs late in the game, Deputy is working to cement their bid early this time around. 
6. SPC 205: Winners of week one's tightest matchup, the Cows drop the defending champions by way of a well rounded effort- every member of the offense chipped in double digits in this one, with Carson Wentz and Michael Gallup connecting for a game winning TD. 
7. JSC202: The Crew shined brightest of the league's newcomers, but still came up short in their 'welcome to the show' moment, unable to capitalize on a dominant performance from Sammy Watkins. Blame the birth of Kyle Van Noy's child, which is not regarded as a miracle in Jerz.
8. HVM 201: The McFlys breached the 200 mark but, pending a massive reversal, start their title defense in a hole. In the past five years they've won it all twice and missed the playoffs thrice, espousing an all-or-nothing mentality that will be tested again this season.
9. CRT 195: Today appears to not be a Rudy-Tuesday, as the team wakes up winless, victims of the opener's toughest matchup and uneven performances down their roster. Week two pairs them with New York's #3 ranked machine, so Carmel will have to rally to break even early.
10. BIN 185: The Snipers held off a woeful Phoenix offense to win comfortably despite some suboptimal scoring headlined by QB Jameis Winston finishing in the red. Defensive Captain CJ Mosley made up for it with a dominant day, an early TD proving the clincher.
11. OTB 183: The Boys were denied their inheritance in week one, undone despite big performances from their stars; The TE, Flex, Kicker, and CB2 positions combined for 2.1 points, proving the vitality of a deep roster. (Joe Mixon getting hurt early did not help either.)
12. PHX 166: The team's performances ranges from adequate to middling to bad, with only a couple big plays on defense keeping the Uprising from the bottom of this ranking. Cam Newton being almost a non-factor and Corey Davis actually being a non-factor sunk a winnably bad matchup.
13. HCM 163: Lead Farming proved to be unfruitful this week, with HCM City falling to the barrage from Savannah and ending up the week's biggest blowout. But for a monster game from Christian McCaffrey this could have been REALLY UGLY. 
14. PRH 161: Last and least, the Rum Ham saw three of their primary weapons (Tyreek Hill, Mike Williams, and Tevin Coleman) all exit early, leaving the team with Matt Ryan, Le'Veon, and not much of a chance on offense, while a good defense was undermined by Kiko's no show.

Week 1 Team-of-the-Week

• QB Lamar Jackson NYF (36.26) Against a real bad D but he looks for real and could be the steal of a deep quarterback class after being selected in the tenth round.
• RB Austin Ekeler PAW (42.2) Opportunity is there and Ekeler took advantage and then some, showcasing his ample physical gifts and saying 'Melvin who?'
• WR Sammy Watkins JSC (49.8) Ability to dominate has always been there, but to date his acareer has lacked career consistency. Is this a peak or a new plateau?
• TE Evan Engram SAV (26.5) In his third season Easy E's size, speed, and role as a primary target set him up for a big year as long as his hands prove reliable.
• DL Myles Garrett OTB (18.5) Years after JJ Watt transformed the position, Garrett is the latest model of dominant front line disruptor ascendant. 
• LB Cory Littleton PRH (34.45) Already established as one of the premier movers and shakers, Littleton stakes his claim early for top linebacker after placing in second last year.
• CB Logan Ryan SAV (27.5) The playmaker was all over the field, producing in all phases of the game, with 7 tackles, a pick, a PD, and a sack and half.
• SS Harrison Smith OTB (18.5) Sometimes opponents keep Smith off the stat sheet by avoiding putting the ball anywhere near him. Honestly, that might be the smarter option.
• K Stephen Gostkowski DVH (18.5) The only limit on Gostkowski this year might be that his offense is so potent, he's relegated to a PAT baseline instead of nailing FGs with regularity.

B-Division Week One Rankings

1. Manitoba Moosecrew (252.38) Take pole position out of the gate!
2. Brewtang Killa Beez (248.11) Nearly keeping pace with the leader
3. Nittany Lions (241.62) A respectable start for the newcomer
4. Toronto LTP (175.38) Major trouble on lap one after a year off

XI: B-Division Draft Results

The inaugural B-Division draft was a rapidly paced affair that resulted in four very stacked teams that will compete for a total points crown. With the cream of the crop player pool available to them, the minor roster decisions- matchups, bye weeks, and injury replacements will be magnified, and the bolder moves will be feast or famine.

FOOTBALL STARTS TONIGHT!