Week Four Results

The first (of four) months is in the books. The team to beat is South Park; Everyone else is looking up at the Cows. No one is eliminated just yet, but the Lead Farmers are in pretty dire straits, winless on the year. Week Four gave us our first taste of byes- they will mark the rest of the season. Your time at full strength is over! Now it is time to showcase how resourceful each team can be- the war of attrition has begun.

Week 4 Matchups

• Phoenix Uprising201.95HoChiMinhLeadFarmers168.47
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• Indiana Turbanators175.78Saskatoon Sasquatch162.85
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• Pawnee Pacey Joners138.43Margaritaville PH149.22
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• Hill Valley McFlys111.10OAKWOOD DRIVER181.02
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• New York's Finest169.60South Park Cows211.50
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• Oniontown Massacre205.07Les Tres Petites149.98
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• California Swag162.16Manitoba Moosecrew179.86
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Phoenix was able to kick HCM City when they were down with their first 200 point game. For a team that invested their second, third, and fourth round picks on WRs, they are getting precious little production from their wideouts; Lucky for the Uprising they had a monst game from their jumbo package, TEs Travis Kelce and Heath Miller each contributing nineteen and change. This was HCM City's best game of the season- just wasn't enough to crack the goose egg in the left column.

The Turbanators shocked the Sasquatch- QB Philip Rivers relieved Aaron Rodgers and managed to engineer some late game heroics. Bit of a quarterback controversy brewing in Indiana- typical hijinks from that franchise. Eddie Royal was a key contributor- the guy certainly makes the most of his targets. Saskatoon had a three man power play, but couldn't exploit it for a W. Certainly a letdown for a contending team.

The JJ Watt effect continues! After winning championships for California and Phoenix in successive years, he's taken his talents to South Beach, where he was the difference in a low scoring affair between Margaritaville and Pawnee, who lose despite an incredible effort from Steve Smith. Each team is on a divergent course: The Parrots fly to 3-1, while the Pacers sink to 1-3.

After a record setting Week 3, the McFlys stunk up the afterglow, scoring the week's worst triple ones. Such is the cruel hand of variance. Oakwood did work anyway, putting together a very nice week to rout Hill Valley. These two teams linked up for a trade a couple of weeks ago, and it paid immediate divedends for the Drivers: DeAndre Hopkins and Fred Jackson combined for over 28 points, while WR Pierre Garcon only managed 4.8 in defeat. Defensive Player of the Week Malcom Jenkins continued his torrid run, picking six and swarming all over the field.

The Cows are a true number one, leading the league in scoring and going undefeated in the season's first month. They ran roughshod over New York, who got out to an early lead on the arm of Manning Jr, who had an elite day in his elder brother's stead. The Cows swallowed two bye weeks in hand and still regurgitated a W- five players went over 20 points in this one. A tough luck loss for NY, who sinks to 1-3 but sit in a respectable 6th on the Power Rankings.

The Massacre has arrived, with the OT rending limbs in the victory over Toronto. RBs Jamaal Charles and Frank Gore gashed LTP for a combined 57.4 points- and Andrew Luck was inhumane as the Offensive Player of the Week. DeMarco Murray counter punched for the Original Canadian Franchise, but it was lost in the flurry of blows, a sound beating leaving each team with even records.

The MooseCrew get their first W, posting the fifth highest score of the week as they took the Swag down a notch. The biggest story from this matchup is the downfall of Terrific Tom Brady, who was at the helm of the Swag's 2012 Victory Parade. He posted a negative score, unheard of throughout his career. His struggles, and the Swag's patience with them, will be the key to their season, now even at 2-2. Manitoba needs bury HCM City next week to gain some traction in the playoff race.

WEEK FOUR OFFENSIVE MVP:
QB Andrew Luck, Oniontown Massacre - 32.42pts

WEEK FOUR DEFENSIVE MVP:
S Malcolm Jenkins, Oakwood Drivers - 25.15pts

TRADE 6: Such Great Depths

A father-son depth swap- RB for WR.

New York acquires:
WR Allen Hurns

Margaritaville acquires:
RB Shonn Greene

It's a straight forward move- depth role player for depth role player. Allen Hurns has been moved twice since his big week one, and he's batting .500% in the subsequent two games. He's a big play threat, the boom or bust risky plug-in at WR: he will either hit for a big play and contribute to the W, or he won't and whatever negligible gains he brings will leave your team at a disadvantage. Other side of the coin, Shonn Greene offers a safety net at RB: He's unlikely to score a zero if pressed into duty, but his upside is capped. He's a safe bet to chip in 8-10 points week-in and week-out, so he won't lose a matchup, but he won't be winning one outright either.

Neither of these players appear to be every week starters, but byes and injuries will press them (and players like them) into action a few times a year- playing them in the right week might be dumb luck, but it could be a masterstroke on the fringes.

TRADE 5: Bye-Sexual

On the cusp of byes, we have had a trade! Exchanging... two players on bye.

Saskatoon acquires:
WR Brian Quick

Phoenix acquires:
RB Zac Stacy

After going undrafted, Phoenix dropped WR Josh Gordon (facing a looming suspension) for WR Brian Quick; the first three weeks of this season have been a coronation for a player who had the skill set of a WR1 but had yet to put it together on the field. Now he has, and with his speed and verticality, he could breakout as a bonafide elite threat. In return, the Carousel in Phoenix gets another RB option: Zac Stacy, a second round pick. Phoenix did not have a deep WR corps, and Quick had been the only reliable weekly contributor- so expect more moves to come. Phoenix has been involved in three of the league's five trades thus far.

Week Three Results

And then there was one: Only the Cows remain unbeaten through three weeks- Mike Hart's renegade faction still has not lost a game, after splitting from Toronto this off season. Those Les Tres Petites have done well in his absence, one of two teams that crossed the 200 point barrier this week- the other, Hill Valley came up just short of setting the record for most points in a matchup. Indiana (nee Silver City) set that record at 240.91 in week 5 last year, against this same Hill Valley squad.

With tweaked stats and bigger rosters, we've seen the 165 point threshold as the watermark for contention. With bye weeks starting already, and injuries piling up, teams will need to find points in unlikely places going forward.

Week 3 Matchups

• Phoenix Uprising166.52California Swag171.78
  FinalRecap
• Indiana Turbanators141.23South Park Cows191.89
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• Pawnee Pacey Joners184.60New York's Finest145.40
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• Hill Valley McFlys239.10Manitoba Moosecrew101.86
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• Saskatoon Sasquatch165.74HoChiMinhLeadFarmers155.33
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• Oniontown Massacre152.38Margaritaville PH159.33
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• OAKWOOD DRIVER153.54Les Tres Petites212.11
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In the matchup between the only two active managers to have hoisted the Larkspur Bowl, it was 2012's Champion Swag that won out in a game that went to the wire. Phoenix opened big, and led throughout, but in the final quarter it was California with all of the answers. They shut down Phoenix's vaunted receiving corps (Marshall, A. Johnson, and Fitzgerald combined for 7.9 points) while Reggie Bush led the charge on the other side of the field. The Uprising substituted Lardarius Webb for Janoris Jenkins just before kickoff, netting themselves -21.75 points.

South Park dropped last year's bronze medalist without much drama. The Cows surged ahead just before halftime and never looked back, as the Turbanators plateau'ed early. Undersized WRs Antonio Brown and Emmanuel Sanders teamed up to put nearly fifty points on the board, sneaking through the secondary undetected. The Cows are doing it on their own prerogative too, outsmarting Yahoo! projections to substantial weekly output.

Both of these teams have had rough slates to open the year: Each is one of only five teams to have amassed over 500 points on the season, yet neither can boast a record over .500; With Pawnee's sound W, each team sits at 1-2, looking to get their head above water to close out the first month of football. RB Rashad Jennings had a monster day for the Pacers, scoring out as the best RB in week 3.

Hill Valley did not set the record for most points in a matchup, but they did break the record for most lopsided blowout, devastating the Moose Crew in their newly minted uniforms. Things started off with a tremendous day for WR Julio Jones, the week's offensive MVP, and they finished up just as strong, as CB Kyle Fuller was the week's runner up at defensive MVP. TE Zach Ertz was the only offensive McFly to not come close to (or dramatically eclipse) their projections in the Manitoba nightmare. The MooseCrew had the week's paltriest scoring, barely making it to triple digits and dropping to 0-3.

The Sasquatch helped the Lead Farmers bottom out. HCM City did get a huge game from Defensive MVP Bruce Carter, and Le'veon Bell has been transcendent through three weeks, but the rest of the roster has been a black hole for playmaking. Saskatoon Franchise Players QB Matt Ryan & RB Marshawn Lynch delivered again this week- a recipe for success that tastes like beef jerky.

Margaritaville bounced back after a sordid week two, rallying to defeat an Oniontown team that has plucked defeat out of the jaws of victory twice in three weeks. OT took control early, before going on cruise control- the Parrotheads never conceded (despite playing man down with Vernon Davis scratched) and went home victorious, as rookie WR Kelvin Benjamin dominating the late action and finishing off the Massacre.

After a misstep in week one and a nail biter in week two, Toronto is working into form here in week three, with the second highest score on the young season. QB Kirk Cousins and WR Devin Hester were picked up off the scrap heap and turned in explosive performances for the OG Canadian squad. Would be role player WR Jeremy Maclin was a stud for the day, and afterthought RB Terrance West turned on the afterburners to chip in a TD. Combining those four shrewd additions with known commodities Dez Bryant, Michael Crabtree, and DeMarco Murray, Les Tres Petites outscored Oakwood with seven players. Everything else was icing on the cake.

WEEK THREE OFFENSIVE MVP:
WR Julio Jones, Hill Valley McFlys - 37.6pts

WEEK THREE DEFENSIVE MVP:
LB Bruce Carter, HCM City Lead Farmers - 27.75pts

TRADE 4: PTBNL

On the verge of kickoff New York's Finest was struck by the injury bug, as Arian Foster was declared inactive.

New York acquires:
RB Joique Bell
PTBNL (RB Steven Jackson)

Phoenix acquires:
RB Arian Foster

Phoenix gets the best player in the deal, attaining first round pick Foster. At this point, the talent is unquestioned, but the durability has to be under scruitiny. This trade's worth will depend upon how many games Foster starts for the Uprising- who already have injured RB Mark Ingram taking a bench slot. New York gets quality depth- Joique Bell is a talented asset, a respectable starter with upside. Steven Jackson had already played in week three, but the veteran bellcow will report to the Finest for week four- a solid plug-in with a high floor.

TRADE 3: Return of the Twofer

We have our first "TWOFER" where one team trades two depth pieces for a one player upgrade. Hill Valley has perfected the twofer in recent years, amassing depth and turning it into higher level talent; However, Oakwood actually fleeced them on a THREEFER last year, when they netted WR Hakeem Nicks, LB Wesley Woodyard, and the same RB Fred Jackson for RB Arian Foster- who promptly went down and out for the season immediately upon joining the McFlys.

Hill Valley acquires:
WR Pierre Garcons

Oakwood acquires: 
WR DeAndre Hopkins
RB Fred Jackson

Garcon was quiet in week two, despite fireworks going off around him; He just didn't get involved in the party. Expectations should have him firmly in the WR2 camp going forward- steady production with good upside and very few clunkers. Fred Jackson is a major depth addition for a Driver team that lost Knowshon Moreno to injury and is dealing with the ongoing Adrian Peterson situation; He immediately becomes a starter for the team, alongside Alfred Morris. DeAndre Hopkins is a downgrade from Garcon, but still a reliable WR3 that can be started without embarrassment. The McFlys raise their roof, and the Drivers plug their holes, textbook trade execution from two of the league's shrewder maneuverers. (That's probably not a real word.)

TRADE 2: Painting the Corners

Our young season saw a flurry of activity this week, and a second direct exchange of players.

Margaritaville acquires:
RB Darren McFadden

WR Allen Hurns

Pawnee acquires:
CB Patrick Peterson

CB Richard Sherman

This is an exciting move for both teams; The Parrot-Heads gained yet another young wideout with potential- Week 1's waiver gem, Allen Hurns. Their receiving corps has plenty of talent, but will suffer some growing pains- everybody, including Hurns, had a down sophomore draw. Rolling the dice with the right cadre of talent (split, slot, and flanker) each week will be their X-factor, the key to their season without any matchup proof options. Darren McFadden has been moved twice now- a name brand with an indistinct role and questions of effort and durability. He's certainly worth a roster spot, and for a team in need of RB depth, might be a godsend, with bye weeks right around the corner. On the other side of the ball, the Pacers have locked down two of the league's marquee corners. How their unquestionable talents translate to the scheme remains to be seen- shutdown defensive backs sometimes struggle to fill a stat sheet.

Stunning Reversal & Relocation!

Upon further review, Toronto LTP have defeated the Seattle Seaslugs in their week two matchup.

The victory vaults LTP (who finished in fourth place last year) to sixth in the standings, with an even keel 1-1 record.

Following the loss, Martin Sheehy moved the team to Canada, renaming the squad the Manitoba Moose Crew. Raynor Lundy has been jettisoned from ownership, because he could not get a ride out of Seattle. He will be saddled with an 0-2 record, as the Moose try to wipe the slate clean despite their 0-2 start.

RELEGATED:
SEATTLE SEASLUGS (0-2)



NEW MONIKER:
MANITOBA MOOSECREW

Week Two Results

Week two leaves us with only three teams undefeated: Indiana, South Park, and Phoenix; Counter point only three teams have yet to break into the win column: Pawnee, Toronto, and HCM City.

Week 2 Matchups

• Phoenix Uprising154.78Hill Valley McFlys150.64
  FinalRecap
• Indiana Turbanators191.32Pawnee Pacey Joners184.82
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• New York's Finest160.61Oniontown Massacre180.93
  FinalRecap
• Saskatoon Sasquatch151.82South Park Cows156.44
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• OAKWOOD DRIVER161.12Margaritaville PH139.29
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• California Swag165.84HoChiMinhLeadFarmers139.42
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• Les Tres Petites185.72Seattle Seaslugs188.37
  FinalRecap

In a rematch of last year's championship game, the song remains the same; Phoenix held off Hill Valley to advance to 2-0. Brandon Marshall's gutted out three TDs to hold off McFly Bailey's field goal onslaught. The matchup went the distance, as Nick Foles and Zack Ertz hooked up in the final minute, but could not reach the end zone. 

The Battle of Indiana saw the invaders oust the old guard. Both teams had exemplary showings with elite four output highlighted by five players on each team going over 13 points (the threshold for above average performance) but the Turbanators, with the best score of the week move to 2-0. The Pacers fall to 0-2, but anyone sleeping on them will be in for a rude awakening. They can play.

Oniontown was prepared for Greg Hardy's last minute deactivation: Jason Pierre-Paul came in and helped the Massacre defense shut down week one's highest scorers. New York was done in by early injuries to both of its safeties: Eric Berry and Micah Hyde were unable to contribute many meaningful snaps, giving OT the opportunity to finish strong and get the win.

The Cows mooooo-ve to 2-0 after eeking out a tight win over the Sasquatch. Winning percentage remains 1.000% thanks to a gem addition in TE Nile s Paul and a goose-egg performance from Saskatoon's Marques Colston. Neither team's defensive line supplied much push in this one, registering nada on the stat sheet. 

After a nice start, the P arrots petered out in week two, posting the week's lowest score despite top DL JJ Watt scoring a receiving TD (!?!) early. Unfortunately, their defense failed to show up on defense, and their trio of rookie WRs looked like rookies- still faring better than the ghost of Hakeem Nicks, who scored 0.1 in whisper play. For OAKWOOD Chandler Jones dominated the line of scrimmage en route to defensive player of the week honors, and Alfred Morris did all of the lifting for Driver RBs, with Peterson deactivated and Moreno hurt early. It was enough!

The 2012 Champion Swag righted the ship in week two, putting up solid numbers and dropping the Lead Farmers in the week's least competitive game. California's jumbo set ruled the day, with Jimmy Graham and Delanie Walker exploiting mismatches all day. Ryan Kerrigan dropped Tom Brady for four sacks, but that was the only firepower the 0-2 Lead Farmers could muster.

Seattle gets their first victory! WR Jordy Nelson and TW Antonio Gates were both unstoppable, week two's twin cannons spoiling a nice performance from Toronto. Despite the win, Seattle will have a lot of questions to answer going into week three- Their QB and RB situations are both dire, with RGIII dislocating his ankle and Ray Rice breaking his sacred vows. They will need to start acting to keep the winning going. A week like this would mean a win most weeks for Toronto, who has some nice depth.

WEEK TWO OFFENSIVE MVP:

WR Jordy Nelson, Seattle Seaslugs - 34.40pts

WEEK TWO DEFENSIVE MVP:

DL Chandler Jones, Oakwood Drivers - 30.50pts

New Weekly Records

With the rosters expanding, records are likely to fall- the pace was set week one in two categories:

Most Receiving Yards Single Week, All Time 591
Pawnee Pacers vs. South Park Cows - Week 1, Season 2014
Most Defensive Points Single Week, All Time  95.15
New York's Finest vs. Oakwood Drivers - Week 1, Season 2014


We should expect both of these records to be broken a few times this year!

All Team Records can be found here.

Week One Results

We are officially one week into the season!

Week 1 Matchups

• Phoenix Uprising175.97Les Tres Petites145.89
  FinalRecap
• Indiana Turbanators164.79Oniontown Massacre161.48
  FinalRecap
• Pawnee Pacey Joners158.73South Park Cows178.49
  FinalRecap
• Hill Valley McFlys177.48HoChiMinhLeadFarmers160.04
  FinalRecap
• New York's Finest196.81OAKWOOD DRIVER160.94
  FinalRecap
• Saskatoon Sasquatch179.02California Swag133.04
  FinalRecap
• Margaritaville PH188.76Seattle Seaslugs142.01
  FinalRecap

For the first time since 2011, no team broke the 200 point mark in the first week of the season; Last year two teams did (Orgrimmar defeated New York in the week's marquee matchup, 223-216) and it happened for two teams in 2012 as well, when Saskatoon (nee Atlanta) and Pawnee both started hot.

Some rapid reads on breaking the seal:

Phoenix starts its title defense with a mediocre showing- call it the Carousel of Missed Opportunities. Toronto decided to take a nice Sunday morning hike, leaving two inactive players on the defense. It might not have won the game, but it wouldn't have hurt. First Safety off the board, Harrison Smith, picked up Defensive MVP honors for week one.

Indiana versus Oniontown was the week's best matchup in terms of competitiveness, but both teams would have lost to any of the other winners this week. Julius Thomas scored for three, which was good because two Turbanators put up goose eggs in their debut. The Massacre's RBs won't score that poorly again this season.

The South Park Cows have never lost a game in Larkspur Bowl History. They cruised to a successful inception against last year's bottom feeding mouth breathing Pawnee Pacers. The Pacers actually looked stellar on offense, but their defense was absolutely woeful- not a single defender cracked double digits. Quintin Demps chipped in a HUGE .35!

Hill Valley gets the W, but most of the attention for the McFlys has to be on the plight of Josh Gordon. Taken off the scrap heap, his possible return would be a game changer for Hill Valley, immediately giving them the best WR depth in the league. The Lead Farmers just couldn't make enough plays downfield, their own WRs looking substandard to start.

New York rode their Consolation Bowl Championship to a hot start, leading the league in scoring through one game, and also having DeAndre Levy's hilarious beard on their team. He totally half cheered when Levy picked off Eli. Eternal shame to our house. Oakwood wasn't deplorable, but will want to get back on the horse quickly to even their record; They didn't win in the season's first month last year.

The Cali Swag came up well below expectations in week one, getting squashed by the Sasquatch. Long time franchise QB Matt Ryan delivered the goods, as the week's offensive MVP. The Swag got nearly nothing from half their offense, as Bernard Pierce, Cody Latimer, and Jarret Boykin combined to score half an integer. Buzzy young WRs are not to be held accountable for their actions!

The Parrots swarmed on the Seaslugs, with JJ Watt showcasing why he was the first defensive player taken in the draft. This was the week's biggest blowout- and that's not even factoring in the Seaslugs losing the only other RB on their roster, Ray Rice, to suspension. They'll need to shop for some depth soon.

WEEK ONE OFFENSIVE MVP:
QB Matt Ryan, Saskatoon Sasquatch - 34.62pts


WEEK ONE DEFENSIVE MVP:
FS Harrison Smith, Phoenix Uprising - 26.55pts