Wednesday, January 1, 2025

XVI: All-Larkspur Teams

Here's our first, second, and third ALL LARKSPUR TEAMS for 2024:

ALL-LARKSPUR FIRST TEAM:

QB LAMAR JACKSON - HILL VALLEY
RB SAQUON BARKLEY - NEW JERSEY
RB DERRICK HENRY - BINGHAMTON
WR JAMARR CHASE - MAR A LAGO
WR JUSTIN JEFFERSON - PHOENIX
WR AMON ST BROWN - PAWNEE
TE GEORGE KITTLE - NEW JERSEY
TE BROCK BOWERS - HCM CITY
DL MYLES GARRETT - BINGHAMTON
LB FIRE FRANKLIN - BINGHAMTON
LB ZACK BAUN - PHOENIX
LB ROBERT SPILLANE - NEW JERSEY
CB BYRON MURPHY - NEW YORK
CB ALONTAE TAYLOR - PHOENIX
SS BRIAN BRANCH - HILL VALLEY
SS BUDDA BAKER - HILL VALLEY
PK CHRIS BAKER - HILL VALLEY

ALL-LARKSPUR SECOND TEAM:

QB JOSH ALLEN - NEW YORK
RB JAHMYR GIBBS - DEPUTY
RB BIJAN ROBINSON - SAVANNAH
WR BRIAN THOMAS JR - PAWNEE
WR CEEDEE LAMB - SOUTH PARK
WR TERRY MCLAURIN - SAVANNAH
TE TREY MCBRIDE - MAR A LAGO
TE JONNUE SMITH - HCM CITY
DL LEONARD WILLIAMS - PHILADELPHIA
LB JAMIEN SHERWOOD - PAWNEE
LB JORDYN BROOKS MAR A LAGO
LB ANDREW VAN GINKEL - PHILADELPHIA
CB MARLON HUMPHERY - BINGHAMTON
CB KEIEAN NIXON - HCM CITY
SS NICK CROSS - NEW JERSEY
SS BRANDON JONES - DEPUTY
PK BRANDON AUBREY - NEW YORK

ALL-LARKSPUR THIRD TEAM:

QB JOE BURROW - PHOENIX
RB JOSH JACOBS - SAVANNAH
RB KYREN WILLIAMS - HCM CITY
WR JAXON SMITH NJIGBA - SOUTH PARK
WR MALIK NABERS - PAWNEE
WR DRAKE LONDON - SOUTH PARK
TE TRAVIS KELCE - PAWNEE
TE MARK ANDREWS - PAWNEE
DL JONATHAN GREENARD - PAWNEE
LB KADEN ELLIS - HCM CITY
LB NAKOBE DEAN - SAVANNAH
LB LAVONTE DAVID - PHOENIX
CB CAM TAYLOR BRITT - HILL VALLEY
CB JAYLON JONES - PHILADELPHIA
SS KERBY JOSEPH - PHOENIX
SS JESSIE BATES III - PHILADELPHIA
PK KAIIMI FAIRBAIRN - MAR A LAGO

Phoenix Uprising Stuns NJ Sanitation Crew: A Tale of Two Grades!

In a thrilling Week 17 showdown, Phoenix Uprising emerged victorious with a score of 237.33, taking the lead late on Sunday. They must be feeling like overachievers with that A+ grade, while NJ Sanitation Crew might want to start studying harder with their C--. Maybe they should consider a tutoring session with Phoenix Uprising?

Phoenix Uprising's star was Kerby Joseph, who decided that 11.37 was just a suggestion and scored a whopping 27.95 points instead. On the flip side, Daiyan Henley must have thought they were playing a different game, scoring a grand total of 0.00 points. For NJ Sanitation Crew, Patrick Mahomes showed up to class and scored 29.40 points, while Cooper Kupp seemed to be on an extended lunch break, contributing only 3.70 points. Oops!

With this win, Phoenix Uprising improved their record to 10-6-0 and secured the 4th spot, while NJ Sanitation Crew, despite their loss, holds a solid 12-4-0 record and remains in 1st place. Looks like Phoenix Uprising is playing for pride in the championship finals next week against Hill Valley McFlys, while NJ Sanitation Crew gets to fight for the 3rd place against Savannah Petes. Who knew the standings could be so dramatic? Will NJ Sanitation Crew's C-- grade haunt them in the 3rd place game?

As we look ahead to next week, Phoenix Uprising needs to channel their inner overachiever against Hill Valley McFlys, while NJ Sanitation Crew should probably send a thank you note to Patrick Mahomes for keeping them afloat. Phoenix Uprising, don't forget to bring your A+ game, and NJ Sanitation Crew, maybe consider some extra credit if you want that bronze medal. Good luck, and may the fantasy odds be ever in your favor!

Hill Valley McFlys Shines Bright While Savannah Petes Stumbles in the Shadows!

In a thrilling Week 17 showdown, Hill Valley McFlys clobbered Savannah Petes with a score of 237.22 to 173.84, sealing the deal by Wednesday. Clearly, Hill Valley McFlys took their report card home and got an A+, while Savannah Petes might want to consider a summer school session with that D-- they earned. Better luck next time, right?

For Hill Valley McFlys, Tee Higgins was the shining star, outperforming expectations and racking up a jaw-dropping 37.50 points. Meanwhile, James Conner was about as useful as a chocolate teapot, managing a mere 2.50 points and falling flat on their face. On the flip side, Savannah Petes had Jerry Jeudy who scraped by with 18.40 points, but let's not forget Terry McLaurin, who decided to take a nap and scored just 1.00 point. Ouch!

With this victory, Hill Valley McFlys improved to an impressive 11-5-0 record, solidifying their place at 2nd in the standings. Savannah Petes, with their 10-6-0 record, remains at 3rd, probably wondering how they got tangled in such a mess. It's like watching a dog chase its tail--entertaining, but ultimately pointless. Can Savannah Petes bounce back from this disaster, or will they just keep chasing their own mistakes?

Looking ahead to next week, Hill Valley McFlys faces off against Phoenix Uprising in the Championship finals, and they'll need to keep that A+ energy flowing. Savannah Petes, on the other hand, is set to battle NJ Sanitation Crew for the 3rd place game. A little advice for both teams: Hill Valley McFlys, don't rest on your laurels; and Savannah Petes, maybe try scoring more than one point next time? Just a thought!

Week 17 Matchups

Phoenix Uprising237.63NJ Sanitation Crew207.60
FinalRecap
Binghamton Snipers228.36HoChiMinhLeadFarmers219.22
FinalRecap
Hill Valley McFlys237.22Savannah Petes173.84
FinalRecap
Mar-a-Lago Treason205.78NY Finest214.08
FinalRecap

Monday, December 30, 2024

XVI: Season Recap (The Contenders)

The Larkspur Bowl Playoffs, pared down to just four teams for the first time ever, saw a pair of quality matchups involving three teams that have hoisted the silver chalice multiple times before: #4 Phoenix (4x champions), #2 Hill Valley (2x champions), and #1 New Jersey (2x champions), as well as an original franchise in #3 Savannah playing in their second Larkspur Bowl semifinal (having made it this far back in LBIX) and hoping to make their first title game.

The paths to this point varied:

#4 PHOENIX (10-6) 3rd in Champions Division
MVP: QB JOE BURROW

The Uprising's final three losses of the season each by less than 3 points, and had things broken differently, might have been a coulda, woulda, shoulda scenario. Instead, they get in by the skin of their teeth and have a fighter's chance of making their seventh Larkspur Bowl final (after missing the last six) but they'll have to defeat the defending champions to get there.

#3 SAVANNAH (10-6) 1st in Challengers Division
MVP: RB BIJAN ROBINSON

The Petes came back from a 1-4 start (three of those losses by single digits) to just dominate down the stretch and force their way into this four team tournament by winning their division. They scored the second most points in the league this year (while facing the second most points against) and earned every bit of this matchup, a rematch with the McFlys that narrowly ousted them in a high scoring week one matchup.

#2 HILL VALLEY (11-5) 2nd in Champions Division
MVP: QB LAMAR JACKSON

But for a four game losing streak late in the season, Hill Valley had a charmed run, scoring the most points, and rarely dropping below 200 on a weekly basis. They rebounded from the monthlong sink to drop 296 on New Jersey and 257 on Phoenix in the final weeks, coming into the playoffs nearly as hot as their Svannah opponents.

#1 NEW JERSEY (12-4) 1st in Champions Division
MVP: RB SAQUON BARKLEY

The Crew, with two trophied in the their locker and looking for a third in just their fifth season in the league, were the class of the league this season, starting 4-2 and then winning eight in a row before resting their starters in the final two weeks with their playoff spot secure. They face Phoenix, whom they have defeated twice already this season- can they make it three in a row?

XVI: Season Recap (The Departed)

This season, the sixteenth in Larkspur Bowl history, saw a downsizing and subsequent format change, and the unfortunate dwindling of the blog, leading to a lack of immersion, quantified by only four trades made this year. All that said, it was another extremely competitive season, with the regular season extended from thirteen games to sixteen games and the playoffs limited to only two rounds.

We're on the verge of determining the Larkspur Bowl XVI matchup- more on that later.

Let us first recap each team's season:

12. Philadelphia (4-12) 6th in Challengers Division
MVP: LB ANDREW VAN GINKEL

The Rum Ham never really gained traction this year, starting 1-7, but showed some gumption mid-season, winning three of four and nearly impacting the playoff race by playing Savannah down to the wire in the season finale.

11. Pawnee (5-11) 6th in Champions Division
MVP: WR BRIAN THOMAS JR

Pawnee started 2-2 before a five game losing streak really put the kibosh on their playoff aspirations; another team that didn't show well in the standings but did some late season damage, defeating both of the eventual LBXV competitors in head-to-head combat.

10. South Park (6-10) 5th in Challengers Division
MVP: QB JAYDEN DANIELS

The Cows suffered four close losses in five weeks after a 3-1 start, with two of the losses (week 7 to New Jersey and Week 9 to Philly) by fractions of a point. That was simply too much heartbreak for the LBVII champs to recover from.

09. Deputy (6-10) 4th in Challengers Division
MVP: RB JAHMYR GIBBS

A pair of three week losing streaks really kept the Van Halens from ever creating momentum, but the team did improve as the season went on: Their first three weeks were the lowest scoring weeks of their season.

08. New York (7-9) 5th in Champions Division
MVP: QB JOSH ALLEN

The Finest beat each of the three "Champions" teams that made the playoffs this year, proving they can hang with the best, but lost twice to HCM City in games that might have been the difference had a couple things broken differently.

07. HCM City (7-9) 4th in Champions Division
MVP: RB KYREN WILLIAMS

The Lead Farmers rallied to win 4 of their final 6 (topping playoff teams Hill Valley and Savannah in that stretch) to attain a measure of respectability, but this was season stacked against them: They had the misfortune of seeing the most 'points against' in the league in 2024.

06. Binghamton (8-8) 3rd in Challengers Division
MVP: RB DERRICK HENRY

The Snipers were the league's middle class most of the year, remaining on the fringe of the playoff race: a five game win streak mid-season had them primed to strike, but a subsequent four game losing streak against division rivals left them playing as spoiler in week 16.

05. Mar-A-Lago (10-6) 2nd in Challengers Division
MVP: WR JA'MARR CHASE

The hard luck losers of the format, LBXIV's champions were in the playoff position most of the year, with a dominant 6 game winning streak putting them in pole position. They were in control of their destiny in week 16, but a loss to Binghamton coupled with Savannah winning and Phoenix erasing a substantial points gap stunned the Treason into a last minute collapse.